Bane of My Existence
by DreamHowler
Summary: Over the summer, in Harry Potter's 7th year, he starts getting mysterious letters from a guy that claims he wants to apologize for all the stuff that he has done to him over the years. Full Summary inside. SLASH
1. The Mysterious Writer

Bane of My Existence  
by Dream Howler

* * *

**Author Notes:** This story has undergone a major overhaul since the original Chapter 1. This means that there are events in this story that have changed. If you have read the first two chapters on other sites, please read them again before going on to chapter 3. 

I want to thank my beta's who have helped me fix up this chapter, and make it much better than it was before. Much thanks to Keikokin, Drakeluvr, and Messiah.

**Canon Notes:** This story is Pre-HBP, and takes place in my version of Harry Potter's seventh year, based on the events of the first five books. Most of the content of this story will obviously be filled with different information because Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is out, and many things have changed that I will not be mentioning here. I will be taking some spells and some small events out of HBP, but the majority of this will make this an AU.

**Copyright:** This plot/story is ©2004 - 2005 by Dream Howler. This story is the sole property of its author, and may not be copied, in whole or in part, or posted on any other website without the written permission of the author. As for the Characters that are in this story, they are the property of J.K. Rowling, and are only being borrowed for my enjoyment. I am not receiving money for writing this story, and have no money for any lawyers to take should they decide to sue me.

* * *

**Prologue:**

Harry sighed as he lay back on his bed, finally taking a break from his summer studies, and let his mind wander. He couldn't believe that so many people looked to him in the hope that he, Harry, just Harry, would save them from one of the darkest wizards of all time. When Harry was just a baby, he became the hero of the Wizarding World, and became famous for something he could barely remember, and wanted more than anything to forget. It had always bothered him that he became famous for something he had no control over.

Over the years, Harry had felt like an outsider, watching helplessly as his life spun out of control. He couldn't help feeling hurt, helpless, angry and used when he went from being a hero, to a liar; having never told a lie in his life; to crazy and then suddenly, back to being the Wizarding World hero once more, even though he hated it all.

Last year, he had narrowly escaped Voldemort's clutches again, and lived to tell the tale yet again, although it left him with several more nightmares, not the first being that he watched Sirius fall through the veil on a continuous loop, as though it were a broken record.

He was starting his Seventh year at Hogwarts at the end of the summer. There wasn't much for him to do other than study, and complete the work assigned for the break by his teachers. Some might call Harry a hero, but in reality, he was following his heart, and becoming an artist.

One day during his Fifth year at Hogwarts, Harry asked the Room of Requirement to provide something soothing to do after enduring a stressful day. Instead of what he expected, a bass guitar appeared, much to his surprise. Harry decided to try it and he quickly realized that he was what some would consider a natural at it, though it did take a lot of hard work to learn the proper chords. Arranging time to practice during the school year was hard to arrange, especially with Umbridge always looking for something to take from him, or get him in trouble. He managed it however, and after awhile, Harry realized that he could not only play well, but also did a good job at singing as well as writing music. No one really knew just how good he was, since he never allowed anyone to hear him. It was his private joy.

Halfway through his Fifth year, when Umbridge was at her worst, Professor Dumbledore had caught Harry using the Room of Requirement to practice his guitar. Thinking to encourage the boy, Dumbledore gave Harry a new place to practice his music, with the only rule being, to keep his grades up. The new location was an old music classroom that was no longer in use; and it was truly wonderful. It had the strongest silencing charms available, since it used to hide loud music. It had pleased him that he was able to continue practicing, making sure that no one found out. The rest of the world thought that Harry was just a liar at the time, and even Ron and Hermione didn't know he played. Harry was just the 'Savior of the World' in their eyes, and that was all they needed to know.

* * *

**Chapter 1 - The Mysterious Writer**

Harry had survived his first week at the Dursley's, glad that the whole family was leaving him alone for the most part. Not really expecting anything in the way of mail, Harry was shocked to hear a tapping on his window. It wasn't the first letter he received that summer, but it took him a moment to realize that the letter wasn't from one of his friends. The beautiful tawny owl had flown in holding a rather plain looking envelope that didn't have much in the way of markings, except for his name. Turning it over, he saw that the envelope bore a silver seal with three stars and a wand. Not recalling ever having received a letter with that seal before, he was a bit hesitant to open it. However, after a week of boredom at the Dursley's, he figured it would be okay. It wasn't as if Voldemort would suddenly start sending him letters; right? Harry asked himself.

Cautiously, he opened the envelope, pulled out the letter, and began to read. The writing was in elegant script he didn't recognize, and he became even more curious than he was before.

_Dear Harry, _

It has been a week since I last saw you, and you don't know how much I wish I were with you. It's rather lonely in my home with only the silence for company, and of course, my music. Do you know that very few people even know that I play an instrument? Of course you don't, since you don't know who I am. Did you know it was once common to teach any child who had a musical gift, be it singing, or playing an instrument? It seems to me, that many parents are leaving behind the traditions of the past. I often wonder what will happen to me after I get out of school.

I am sure you are wondering why I wrote you this letter, but I guess I don't really know myself. Perhaps I won't even mail it, though I don't know… maybe I will. I have never been one to back down from something that I want, except one time. I regret that moment every day—the day I gave up, and let it walk away without even a backwards glance.

The main purpose of this correspondence is more of a wish than as a real letter. I wish I could tell you in person how sorry I am for the way I have treated you over the years, but for now, this is all I can do about it. In reality, I could probably never tell you to your face how sorry I am, and have you believe me. Until the day that I can get up enough courage to tell you who I am, I will remain your ever-apologizing subject.

Caesius

P.S. My owl will stay with you until you reply. Please take good care of him. His name is Arrow.

Harry blinked as he finished reading the letter. The first thing Harry noticed was that this was definitely a male's handwriting, since a female's handwriting tended to be more curvy and loopy. He looked at the owl for a few moments and shrugged. _'What would writing back to him hurt? Although, it could be a trap, couldn't it? Perhaps it's a reporter taking a chance to get information out of me. Well, let's hope I am wrong, and that this person is okay,' _Harry thought.

Harry sat back down at his tiny desk, took out a piece of parchment, ink, and quill, and tried to decide how to reply. When he had finally finished, he carefully folded the parchment and put it in an envelope. He wrote 'Caesius' in a neat scrawling script, and carefully tied it to the owl's leg. "Okay, Arrow, take this letter back to your owner. I am sure he is eagerly awaiting it."

_'Perhaps,'_ Harry thought, _'this summer might turn out interesting after all.'_

* * *

Caesius paced nervously after he sent out his owl, Arrow. He was almost positive that Harry wouldn't write back, but he could hope, right? He sighed as he went to his closet, pulling out clothes for bed, while trying to forget the sounds of a nearly desolate house. Caesius' father was still in Azkaban, which he still had yet to thank Harry for. Caesius reasoned that for the most part, it kept his father out of harms way. 

_'Perhaps I can thank Harry once he forgives me,' _Caesius thought. _'Well, **if** he does. At any rate, I bet he won't write me back. I'd wager bet he has already figured out who I am, and will send my owl home.' _Caesius sighed again as he got undressed, pulled on a pair of pajamas, and laid down to go to sleep. He would just have to wait and see if Harry would reply.

The next morning, Caesius awoke to a loud tapping on the window. Still groaning from being startled awake, he crawled to the window sluggishly. Attached to his owl's leg was a letter, and it took several moments for his sleepy mind to realize its significance. _'He wrote me back!'_ Caesius thought excitedly. Pulling open the letter, Caesius eagerly read the reply.

_Dear Caesius, _

Well, since I don't know anyone by that name who has hurt me over the years; I assume it's a nickname. Did you choose it yourself, or did someone give it to you? Since you won't tell me who you are, I guess "Caesius' is what I will use. It is an interesting nickname actually.

_I figured it wouldn't hurt to write you back. I mean; I doubt that you could be Voldemort, considering he would never apologize to me for anything. Of course, you could be one of his followers, or a reporter, so forgive me for being suspicious. On the other hand, I doubt Voldemort would have any of his followers write to me either; it doesn't seem to be his style. He seems to like doing things face-to face. _

So, on that note, perhaps you could tell me what exactly you are apologizing for. Many people have hurt me over the years, so it's a rather long list to choose from. If you don't feel up to giving me specifics yet, then tell me something about you that I wouldn't know. Tell me about your music. I like all kinds of music myself.

I am kind of wondering about your previous statement, about you wanting to be with me. Are you saying that you just wish I were around, so you could apologize in person? Or do you really want to be with me—you know, as in **more** than just friends? On the other hand, perhaps I'm being silly, and you just miss me being around to argue with you.

Well, regardless of your reasoning, I guess the statement rather confused me. If Hermione was here, I am sure she would probably think I was crazy for writing someone who claims to know me. She, or Ron, Erm, maybe both, would probably accuse you of being a reporter for the Daily Prophet, or even one of Voldemort's followers. I don't really get that vibe from the letter you wrote me, but I am not going to totally trust you - just yet.

Anyway, since you made the first move here, is there anything about me you would like to know? I suppose the main purpose of sending these letters was to get to know me better, right? Regardless, I hope you are not disappointed by my reply.

Harry

Caesius was shocked. Harry had written a nice letter to him, and wanted to get to know him! Caesius was ecstatic. Perhaps, by the time the summer was over, he could reveal himself to Harry, and they could be friends, or maybe more. Caesius could dream, right?

Taking out a piece of parchment, he began to formulate his reply. It needed to be witty, so unlike what Harry knew him to be. He wanted to bare his soul, one not even his closet friends had seen before. An hour later, Caesius set down his quill. He decided to let Arrow rest, and have him deliver it in the morning. He gave his owl some treats and began preparing for the rest of the day. As he got dressed, Caesius hummed cheerfully as thoughts of Harry flashed through his mind, and he couldn't be happier.

The next morning, Caesius sent Arrow off with his reply, and watched from the window until the owl faded into the distance. He rang a bell for a house-elf, giving him his breakfast order when it appeared, before crawling back in bed with a new potions book his mother had gotten him. He sighed as he thought of her; the house wasn't the same when she was out visiting her friends. He was lonely, and wanted someone to talk to.

_'At least I have Harry to write to,'_ he thought happily.

* * *

Harry eagerly waited for the return of Arrow. He knew that he shouldn't expect the bird back so soon, but Caesius did say he was lonely. Perhaps he would let his owl rest before giving him another letter. 

_'I doubt Caesius would like his owl to tire out, even if he is eager to write me.'_

Harry was surprised that he was waiting anxiously for a return letter. Though, the main thing he was waiting for was his impending birthday. Once Harry's birthday rolled around, he would finally be free of the Dursleys forever. It was a moment that he had treasured in his heart for years: the day he could finally tell Uncle Vernon how he felt about him, **_if_** he got up enough courage to do so. Wondering what to do, he carefully let Hedwig out of her cage and slipped a little sack around the bird's leg. "Girl, could you take this to the _Daily Prophet_, and get me a paper?" Hedwig hooted softly, nibbled affectionately on his finger, and then flew out the window.

While waiting for his owl to come back with the day's paper, Arrow swooped in the open window with a loud hoot. Harry smiled. The owl was a beautiful creature, though not as beautiful as his Hedwig. He quickly fed the owl some treats, and sat down on his bed to read his new letter.

_Dear Harry, _

Thank you for returning my letter. I want to assure you that I wouldn't work for the Prophet for all the money in the Wizarding World. The only reason I read it most of the time, is because I am bored, and who wants to read the Quibbler? Well, perhaps Lovegood would, but she has an excuse, right? Her dad **does** own the paper, after all. Regardless, I was very happy to see Arrow had returned with a letter. As to your questions, well those are pretty easy and harmless

Caesius is of Latin origin. My mother gave me the nickname when I was little, though she hasn't used it in many years. It's actually more of a private name for me now, one that I use when I feel lonely, or lost. Yes, lost. It's amazing how often people will look at me, and never think that those words would ever apply to me. That feeling of loss definitely comes out in my music though. My best friend is always telling me how soulful my songs are, though if you knew my father the way I do, you would understand all of this better.

As for my comment about wanting to be with you, well - I guess you could say it's a bit of both of the ones you mentioned. I **do** owe you a more personal apology than the one I have offered you here, especially since you don't even know who is apologizing yet. However, I know that if I tell you who I am at this point, I will never receive another letter from you again. So, instead of telling you who I am, I will ask for your advance forgiveness for waiting so long.

Now, let's move on to more pleasant topics. My music is the only thing that keeps me sane these days. Though people look at me and think that I don't have any problems, they would be dead wrong. I am by no means stupid, far from it in fact. Not that I am trying to be arrogant or anything, but I work very hard to make the grades I do. Some wouldn't really agree with that statement, but it's true.

You aren't the only person that I owe apologies to, but those can wait for now. I know once you discover who I am, or I get the guts to tell you, you will realize that apologies don't really come easy to me. In fact, you are probably the first person I have ever sincerely wanted to apologize to in my life. All the other apologies I have made over the years, I never meant it, or I felt forced to make them.

Since we are getting to know each other here, I have a question for you. Have you ever done something in your life that you regret? I mainly mean something like choices in friends, actions, et cetera. I know I have. One mistake I regret more than anything involves a choice in friends. Maybe one day I will be able to tell you just how that one error has affected my whole life.

Well, I suppose I should let you go and let you get some sleep.

Caesius

Harry looked at the letter, silently wondering why he suddenly got the feeling that this was someone he knew very well. Harry shrugged, took out a piece of parchment, and penned a reply. After he was done, he smiled and wondered how long it would take this mystery boy to tell him who he was.

* * *

Caesius woke up the next morning slightly worried. He was hoping that he didn't give Harry enough information to give himself away too badly in the last letter he had written. Caesius hated to keep this a secret from him. However, he felt strongly that if Harry discovered his identity, he would never want to get to know him. Caesius was sure that he was the bane of Harry's existence; well, besides You-Know-Who, of course. 

He doubted he could ever tell Harry how attractive he thought he was. Last year, he had walked in on Harry in the Prefect's Bathroom, just as Harry was about to step into the bath, and Caesius saw Harry in all his glory. Caesius knew that Harry was Quidditch Captain, and there was a possibility that he would be there, but that definitely wasn't what he expected when he had opened the door.

Harry had decided to grow out his hair a bit more after his Fifth year. By the time he came back for Sixth year, he was the talk of Hogwarts. In fact, Caesius was pleased to note that Harry had finally gotten rid of the baggy clothes that he used to wear. Caesius was never quite sure who had helped him, but he looked good in all of his new clothes.

_'Hmmm, that's something to ask him in the next letter,'_ Caesius mused.

Arrow swept into the room then, and landed, exhausted, on the bed. "Hello Arrow. You sure came back fast, you could have rested, you know," Caesius scolded the bird affectionately. Arrow hooted softly, grabbed an owl treat, and flew over to his perch for a nap. After he eagerly unrolled the parchment, Caesius read the new letter.

_Dear Caesius, _

It's interesting to see that we have a few things in common. I was just thinking about music when your latest letter arrived. Do you write your own music? Do you ever listen to Muggle music? You would be amazed at the large variety of brilliant Muggle music out there.

As to your question, I regret many things in my life, unfortunately. If you know anything about me at all, and not the rumors that dang Rita woman publishes, then you will know most of my tragic details. Truthfully, I regret many things, though the largest, hands-down, was my Godfather's death. He was pretty much the only true family I had left, especially since the Muggles that I have lived with for the majority of the last 17 years, have never treated me like family.

_I was just a freak to them, locked away in a cupboard under the stairs until I turned eleven. Then, I suddenly got a tiny, little bedroom, which is where I stay now. I got what seemed like thousands of Hogwarts letters, though if it hadn't been for Hagrid, who came to find me, I probably would have never made it to Hogwarts at all._

_My Uncle definitely didn't want me to go to Hogwarts, and become even more of a "freak" than I already was. I think his main concern was that he was going to have to pay for it. Luckily, my parents left me a good sum of money in the family vault. _

As far as friend choices, well... there was one that I've always had a "what if" thought about. I'm not sure if you really knew that about me. I was just an abused, scared eleven-year-old the day I met the person who would become one of my enemies. I didn't really know he would become one at the time though. Hagrid had just saved me from my horrible relatives and I was still in shock. I had just learned, by his arrival in fact, that I wasn't a 'freak' as my Muggle relatives always said I was, but was in fact, a wizard. My head was still spinning from the news, and I wasn't all that aware of anything else going on around me. That day, my birthday in fact, and I finally found out what really happened to my parents; my relatives never told me the truth, they said that they had died in a car accident. In addition, I found out I was destined to be a "thumping good wizard," Hagrid informed me.

I met my soon-to-be enemy at my very first robe shop. He had this amazing blond hair, and these liquid sliver-blue eyes. Sometimes those eyes haunt me in my dreams. It was too bad that he reminded me too much of my mean cousin, Dudley. Dudley's favorite pastime was 'Harry Hunting'—also known as beating me into a pulp. I was small growing up, and it didn't help that they barely fed me either. Dudley was more than four or five times my size in mass, and later became a boxing champion in school. Between the blond's talk of money, and trying to break school rules by smuggling in a broom, he didn't really impress me. Later he insulted Ron, the first boy my age that I made friends with in the new world I had entered, and by the time he told me to stay away from Ron, I decided I didn't like his attitude at all.

Sadly, the blond hated me after that. I think I wounded his pride. Guess he didn't realize at the time that insulting my new friend wasn't the wisest way to make a new friend, and that his name couldn't impress me, because I had no idea who he was. After being told that all Dark Wizards are sorted into Slytherin, and the fact that the blond was sorted there as well, I begged the hat to put me anywhere else.

If I hadn't been sorted into Gryffindor, there is no telling what might have happened between that blond and I. Maybe we might have become friends, but after his father's repeated attempts to hurt me over the years, I suppose it's just as well we didn't become friends. It would be nice to go back to school this year and have a worry free year where he is concerned. He did put a stop to some of his animosity towards my friends and I last year, though it wasn't enough. If he could just stop the mean, sarcastic comments all the time, he might be nice to hang out around. Perhaps I'll make it a birthday wish.

Anyway, I am probably boring you to tears with my life history. Of course, not many know that particular bit of information except he and I... well, and now you of course. Why don't you tell me something about your history? Maybe I can guess who you are without you having to tell me. Write me soon, but let the owl have a little rest, huh?

Harry

Caesius blinked. Like most of the Wizarding World, Caesius thought that the Boy-Who-Lived led a charmed life with the Muggle relatives he lived with. Finding out that not only was he abused, but degraded to the status of a house-elf for said Muggles, made him extremely mad. Caesius knew, however, that since Harry was almost 17, he could probably leave their house after school this year. Harry would probably be so happy to be coming back to school this year that Caesius decided to make sure that Harry's birthday wish came true.

As to the letter, Caesius had no idea how to respond. He was sure that Harry wouldn't want his pity. Caesius was actually surprised how open Harry was about the past 17 years of his life. Harry had probably figured out who he was, and decided to continue writing anyway, trying to clear the air between them. Caesius sighed with relief, and read the letter again.

Pulling out a quill and some parchment, he started to think of a reply. He started humming softly as he replied in his neat handwriting, choosing deep blue ink this time from his color-changing inkpot. Caesius loved that he didn't have to run around carrying tons of different colored inks to write letters. All he had to do was tap it with his quill, state the color he wanted, and it changed to that color.

Since it was rather late, Caesius decided to send off the letter in the morning, and tucked it in a safe place in case someone came in to check on him in the night. Normally it didn't happen, but life was unpredictable. He just hoped that Harry would be as oblivious as usual, and not notice who he was from his latest letter.

* * *

The next day, around noon, found Harry coming back from making lunch for his relatives. He was used to this by now, and it was easier to just do it than have them yell at him again. He was ever thankful that he had shot up to a respectable five foot, ten inches tall after his last growth spurt. He wasn't as tall as Ron was though, who topped the six-foot scale like the rest of his family, well, aside from Mrs. Weasley and Ginny, although Ginny was closer to her bothers' in height. 

Harry felt blessed every day, knowing that he had the Weasleys. They gave him the love that he missed for the first 11 years of his life. Everyone in the family loved and supported him, but especially Ron. Harry still hadn't told Ron about his sexuality preferences yet, and that bothered him. He had almost told Ron on several occasions over the last year, but it seemed that every time he thought to bring it up, he would loose his nerve. He just didn't want to lose his best friend because he was gay.

Plopping down on the bed, Harry grabbed a book, and started doing the rest of his homework. Dudley always teased him about it, saying only freaks would assign school work over the summer holiday's, but Harry couldn't think of a better way to spend the time he was stuck with them, than doing something that reminded him of the world he really belonged to. He had just finished a History of Magic essay when he heard the telltale knocking of an owl on his window. He saw two owls this time, his own, and Arrow, which had Harry breaking out in a huge grin.

Closing his books, he walked over to the window. Hedwig was carrying the _Daily Prophet,_ and Arrow was, of course, bearing his new letter from the anonymous apologist. Taking them from the birds, he quickly scanned the headlines of the _Prophet_ to make sure that nothing important was there. Finding nothing major in his quick search, he smiled and settled down on his bed to read his new letter.

_Dear Harry, _

I don't know what to say after your last letter. I had no idea that you were so badly mistreated at home. If I could, I would make sure they paid for that. You are by no means, a freak like they claim. I can tell you are a very kind, caring, and loyal person—a true Gryffindor. What is most amazing though, is that if you have never had the love at home, at least you have friends.

To your questions: yes, I do write my own music. I also play guitar and piano. I learned to play the piano first. But later, I decided to pick up the guitar, and I like it better, really. My best friend loves playing the piano, so we get together a lot to play. You have expressed an interest in music yourself. Do you play anything? Do you sing? If you don't feel like you can tell me, just let me know. It would be nice to have someone to discuss music with other than my friend.

The story about your known problems with Draco Malfoy is interesting. I doubt that he even knows that you feel that way. Yes, I figured out who the blond is in your story. It didn't take a genius to figure it out, everyone pretty much knows by now that you two have been at odds for years, and he is the only boy that fits the description you gave at our school. You didn't bore me with your story about Draco Malfoy, actually. In fact, it was interesting to hear it from your point of view.

Anyway, I do have a question that you might be able to help me with; it has caused me to wonder a lot. I noticed you came back last year better dressed, and, well, hot. I was wondering who helped you. I don't know if you noticed it or not, but the normal stares associated with you changed a lot last year. I have a feeling you didn't though, or you just weren't interested in who was staring at you. That does make me wonder about something, but I think it's a little early to ask you that question.

I hope that my previous question didn't offend you. I guess in a roundabout way, I was trying to pay you a compliment. I hope that you realize that, and don't think further ill of me. I am looking forward to your next letter.

Caesius

Harry stared at the letter for a long time. _'This person is very observant. At least it doesn't **seem** to be Colin.'_ Harry shivered at the thought. Colin had begun taking pictures of Harry so much last year, that he had nearly smashed the boy's camera. Eventually, he had to get the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall to tell him to stop harassing him.

Harry then found out that someone had cast a spell on Colin, which made him sing out random thoughts for a day. After that, Colin was so embarrassed that he never bothered Harry with his camera again. No one knew who had cast the spell, but Harry had a sneaking suspicion that it was Hermione. _'Never cross her,'_ Harry thought. _'It is not a good idea.'_

* * *

Time passed quickly for Harry. His seventeenth birthday came and went, and he was finally free of the Dursleys, which was one of the better presents he received. The letters continued on an almost daily basis, but Harry didn't tell anyone about them or from the mysterious Caesius. Caesius often teased and flirted with him in his letters, and they had become quite personal in nature. Harry wasn't comfortable letting anyone, not even Hermione, read them. He had asked Caesius several times who he was, but each time the boy told him that he would tell him when they got back to school, where he could apologize properly. 

Each time the boy sent this as his response, Harry felt a little heartbroken. Over time, he had started to fall in love with the mysterious boy, and he didn't know what to do. Harry had finally told Ron, Hermione, and the rest of the Weasleys that he was gay, which they took pretty well, considering. Ron was a little flustered, and was mad at him for a while. However, as Harry later found out, he didn't like the fact that Harry had known for so long, and never told him. Out of all the Weasley clan, Ginny took Harry's news the hardest. Though she had claimed she had gotten over her crush on him, Harry could tell that she was completely heartbroken, but she seemed to have learned to accept it.

Harry sat down with his latest owl from Caesius in his room, and smiled, wondering what he would say this time.

_Dearest Handsome Harry, _

My, that does sound a bit corny, but I couldn't think of anything else right now. How are you today? I really enjoyed your last letter. It really brightened my day. I didn't really have a good day myself, though I don't really want to talk about it. Luckily, I turned 17 a couple of months ago, so I was able to make the problem go away legally.

Anyway, enough about the depressing topics, I am sure we can find something more interesting to talk about than my wretched day. I was happy when I received your last letter, and found out that you were finally rid of those Muggles who treated you so badly. I don't know how anyone could do that to such a kind-hearted, sweet guy, especially one who has the most amazing green eyes I have ever seen, and with a lithe body like a tiger. You will never know how many times I would follow you down the halls last year, just to watch your arse as you walked.

I know, I sound like a stalker or something, but it's true. The most amazing thing is, that you don't even see it yourself. I guess you could say it is one of your more endearing qualities. I could go on all day about that, but I certainly don't want to make you uncomfortable.

You mentioned in one of your letters, that you went to a Muggle salon to get your makeover, and I must say, that they did a good job. Really, you look much better with the longer hair; it makes your wild tousled look of seem much tamer in comparison to before. I have never had trouble with fashion myself, though it was nice to see you out of those rags, sorry, don't mean to offend you. I don't think I noticed how nice looking you were until you came back to school last year though. Of course, the added height did wonders for that as well. I am glad that you finally had a growth spurt.

As for your last letter, you mentioned the Weasleys; and the love that they share in abundance, and how that is better than all the money in the world. I can't say that I have ever had that kind of love. My parents' marriage was arranged at their birth, and I was just made to produce an heir for the family line to continue. They sleep in separate bedrooms, and lead different lives. I think it's funny really, since I happen to be gay. Maybe it's just fate's idea of a joke.

I am glad that your friends took your telling them that you're gay so well. In times of war, it is nice to know that you have loyal friends. Anyway, on this last thought, I will close this letter. I thought I would let you know that you have forced me to grow up a lot these last two years and for that I thank you. You don't know how much your letters have meant to me this summer, especially the trust you have given me, in sharing so much of your personal life with me, when I haven't even told you who I am.

Caesius

Harry quickly penned a response back. He had gotten the feeling over the last two months that Caesius was rather rich. Not knowing the social status of anyone in the wizarding world, Caesius could be anyone by now. Though, by his comments on the arranged marriage of his parents, he narrowed his mysterious writer down to a pureblood. Harry didn't really care what kind of background Caesius had, he had never been one to take up pureblood prejudices since he wasn't one.

When he finished the letter, he attached it to Arrow, and watched as the bird took off. Hermione had noticed the owl over the summer, and had asked him several times, who the letters were from. He didn't really tell her much about Caesius, just that he was a friend that he had gotten to know over the summer. Hermione looked like she wanted to pry, but strangely didn't mention her suspicions to anyone, not even to Ron that Harry could tell. If Ron knew about a mysterious letter-writer, Harry doubted that he would have kept quiet about it.

* * *

Hermione watched Harry as he sent out another letter to the mysterious Caesius that he had been writing. When Harry was out of his room, Hermione even snuck in, and tried to find the letters that they had been writing back and forth. She knew that Harry kept them all in a box, but she had no idea where he might hide them. Hermione figured that perhaps this was Harry's boyfriend, but she wouldn't know for sure until they got to school. 

Unfortunately, each time that Hermione tried to find the box, she suddenly remembered she had something to do somewhere else. After a while, it dawned on her that Harry had some sort of spell on his trunk that let no one open it, but him. She could of course, end the spell, but if she did, Harry would know that someone had been there. For now, Hermione would have to think of another way to get more information about this person. If Harry was writing someone he didn't know, he could be in danger. Harry did say that the guy was a friend, though she had never heard him mention a Caesius before the letters started arriving.

Hermione had actually checked the school records, and found no one with that name, which meant that it was a nickname of some sort. _'Perhaps Harry gave it to him,'_ Hermione thought.

* * *

The next morning, when Harry's copy of the _Daily Prophet _had arrived; his owl, Hedwig, who sat quietly while he fed her some bacon off his plate, momentarily distracted him from the paper. Hermione, eager to see what news was in the _Prophet_, excitedly untied it from Hedwig's leg, and began to scan the front page. The headline of the newspaper caused her to gasp, and blink several times before she spoke, startling the each of the table's occupants out of their own thoughts. "Lucius Malfoy is dead, "she said as she quickly read the article aloud to room. 

MYSTERIOUS DEATHS AT AZKABAN!

A _Daily Prophet – SPECIAL NEWS REPORT_

By Rita Skeeter

August 21, 1997

Lucius Malfoy, among others, convicted of being Death Eaters in 1996 by the Ministry of Magic, died yesterday due to several dark, poisonous potions. The Ministry will not confirm anything at this time. There are those in the Ministry who think that either they committed suicide, or someone deliberately put the poison in their food.

An investigation is now being conducted, to determine the cause. Speculations are running wild within the Ministry of Magic, and some even attribute the deaths to You-Know-Who, to ensure that they could not tell any of his plans.

His wife, Narcissa, and their son, Draco, who incidentally, is now the sole heir to the Malfoy fortune, now survive Mr. Lucius Malfoy.

If Hermione expected a loud response to the article, she was sadly disappointed. It seemed that the whole table didn't know how to respond, though she did hear one or two mutterings about 'deserving it' floating around the room that morning.

* * *

Finally, September first arrived, and the students in Harry's class were heading in for their final year at Hogwarts. None of them knew if they would make it to graduation, since the war was still going on. Everyone's futures felt clouded with a thick smoke, that didn't even let the students ponder very hard on what they would do after school. 

The train ride was rather uneventful. Harry told his friends in no uncertain terms, that he would not fight with anyone but Voldemort and his Death Eaters from now on. Harry had to admit, Caesius was right. Draco Malfoy had changed somewhat, since their fifth year. It was gradual from what Harry could tell. Draco was still the self-proclaimed 'Prince of Slytherin', but the house took on a new gleam over the last year. The sly, cunning Slytherins were now slowly becoming neutral in the war against Voldemort. They had finally stopped preaching the pureblood mantra, and actually seemed to be getting along with the other houses a little better, even the Gryffindors, to everyone's shock.

In Harry's compartment that year were Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Daphne Greengrass, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Neville, and Luna Lovegood. It was a little crowded, but the group didn't really care. Some sat on others' laps, while others sat on the floor, and it was quite enjoyable. All houses were represented in their compartment that September first.

Since Ron and Daphne were dating, she was perched on his lap, and cuddling while she talked. Ginny was flirting with Justin and Neville, who had finally lost some of the baby fat that he had been carrying around for years. Luna had her nose stuck in her father's paper, _The Quibbler_, as usual, and was spouting random facts from it.

Harry recalled how Ron had surprised him, most of all, when he announced he was dating a Slytherin. After all the years of preaching about how evil the Slytherins were, it made Harry laugh. Ron had grown up quite a bit, and had begun flirting with some of the Slytherin girls last year, and near the end of it, he had finally started dating Daphne. The houses were slowly becoming whole. Though the Slytherins insisted for the most part, in remaining neutral, because they didn't want to have to face their parents, and possibly kill them during the encounter, the other houses respected their wishes. Who knew that the Slytherins would be so loyal to their families?

After the sorting, Harry looked around to spot Draco Malfoy watching him. Instead of the usual sneer when he was caught staring at anyone, he actually smiled. Draco actually smiled a real smile—not a smirk, not a sneer, but an honest to Merlin, real, genuine smile—at Harry. Harry had to admit that he looked much nicer smiling than smirking or sneering.

The week slowly dragged on, and he continued getting his letters from his mysterious friend, telling him how nice he looked the day before, or sending a little complimentary gift, that had all the girls swooning at Harry's admirer. Harry was beyond flattered. He had never been wooed before, and it was an interesting experience.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, he received a reply to his frustrated letter about Snape. Why the man decided to continue torturing him year after year was totally beyond him. Sure, Harry had looked in the man's Pensieve once, but that was no reason to continue to abuse him the way he had. In fact, Harry had apologized for that incident several times over, and even saved the man's life last year. Why he continued to be so bitter toward him, Harry wasn't sure. 

This time, Harry noticed a little box was with the letter, and it appeared to be about the size of a ring. Harry swallowed nervously, hoping that it wasn't. He didn't even know the guy's real name, and a ring really wouldn't go over well with his friends. Shrugging, he placed the box in his robes, and proceeded to read his letter.

_Dear Sexy, _

My, I am having troubles coming up with greetings, aren't I? It's so unlike me. I just don't like the mundane 'Dear Harry' anymore. It sounds so impersonal. You looked very nice in Hogsmeade yesterday. I think that you look very nice in green and blue I think, though the green brings out your eyes better. It's so nice to see you in clothes that actually fit you well. I know I should avoid the topic, but sometimes I can't help myself. I don't even think you see that half the stares that you get these days are lustful, and not the "Boy-Who-Lived" fame thing, that you're always whining about.

Have you ever thought of getting your eyes corrected? There are several spells that you could use to do so, you know. If you're afraid of not having the glasses, you could always fix your eyes, and then wear clear glass in place of your regular lenses. It might make for an interesting advantage when you meet You-Know-Who, if he thinks you're blind without them, and you're not. Just a suggestion for you, I'd hate it if you got hurt. If you want the spells, let me know.

I know you said in your last letter that Professor Snape gave you detention again, for something that you didn't do. He does target you a lot, doesn't he? I know you said it's more to do with your parents, and not yourself, but perhaps you're wrong. I mean, honestly, think about it. I personally think he targets you, so that you will be properly grounded. Isn't he the one person that reminds you that you're human, and not just the 'Savior of the World,' and that it's not your job to save everyone? I think that he keeps reminding you of this, so that perhaps you'll realize that one day your "job" might get you killed if you get too reckless. I shudder to think of that day when you have to face You-Know-Who. I, for one, don't want you to die, Harry. Perhaps you should ease off of Professor Snape a bit, and maybe pay better attention in class? He is a great teacher you know, regardless of his prejudices.

With that said, I hope you enjoy the little gift I've enclosed. Feel free to have Ms. Granger check it out for you. I assure you though; it is safe and will keep you safe.

Yours,

Caesius

Harry pulled the box out of his robes, opened it, and saw it held a little platinum lion-headed necklace, with green gems for eyes. Harry had never really been one who thought much for jewelry, but it was nice, small, and easily hidden beneath his clothes. Of course, being that it was a present at breakfast, as usual Harry had to put up with the "Oooohs' and "Ahhhhhs' of the girls. It was really starting to bother him that they wouldn't mind their own business.

Harry looked quietly over to Hermione, as she looked at what was in his hands. She leaned over and whispered in his ear, "That's pretty, Harry. Did you get that from your friend?"

Harry nodded. "Could you, maybe, check it out for me? I don't know him extremely well, and I want to make sure it's not a Portkey or something."

Hermione smiled, as she laid a hand on his shoulder. "We can check it out after Charms if you like, since we both have a free period then."

Harry smiled back at her, feeling her hand squeeze his shoulder gently. "Thanks, Hermione. I have a feeling that it will be okay, but as everyone keeps telling me, I need to be careful."

Hermione agreed silently, while turning to look at Ron, who sat at the Slytherin table with his girlfriend. "I guess it's a good thing that it's Ron's turn to sit at Daphne's table, or he would have been going nuts over this."

Harry grinned. "Perhaps he knows? I have a feeling that my friend's in Slytherin. He could have talked to Daphne, and she mentioned it."

Hermione blinked. "You don't know who this guy is? Harry! You are going to tell me _everything_, right after class, and no getting out of it! And I want to see those letters you and he wrote."

Harry listened to her demands in silence. He knew that this would happen as soon as he asked her to check out the necklace. He was okay telling Hermione; Ron, on the other hand, was a different matter.

Harry looked slightly worried for a moment. "Hermione, how are we going to get rid of Ron? I'm not ready for him to know yet."

Hermione smiled. "He doesn't have a free period today, remember? He has an essay he didn't finish last night for History of Magic. We can go to the Room of Requirement, and talk after we get your letters from the dorm. Too bad you don't have a copy of the ones you sent."

Harry nodded. He could have used a duplication charm on them after his birthday, when he had turned 17, but he hadn't remembered the charm until he had got back to school. "I have the ones since I came back to school. I forgot about the duplication charm until we reviewed it in class."

Hermione smiled. "Well, that's good then. Let's get to class."

* * *

After Charms, Harry and Hermione went to the Room of Requirement, and Hermione cast all the spells she could think of on the necklace. She hummed softly to herself and smiled. "The only thing I see on this is at least five different protection charms, Harry. Didn't you say he sent you a letter that said he would be upset if anything were to happen to you?" 

Harry nodded. "Yeah, in his latest letter in fact. I guess that is why he gave it to me, huh?"

Hermione nodded in agreement "Well, I assume its okay to put it on. I just hope I am right. Let me see those letters first, though."

Hermione poured over each letter, checking it for charms or spells. The only one she found was one to disguise handwriting, which was slightly suspicious, but considering the author didn't want Harry to know who he was yet, she supposed it was possible that the person was genuine." Well, other than a slightly suspicious spell to alter handwriting, they seem okay. He sure loves to flatter you, doesn't he? I think he really likes you, Harry. I think you are right about him being a Slytherin, he seems to know a lot about all three of us; he seems so familiar, though I can't think of who he reminds me of just now. Though I don't know many Slytherins that would want to apologize to a Gryffindor, unless..." Hermione shook her head. "No, that's impossible. Well, it looks like he's genuine, though I would still be careful. From now on, show me everything he sends you, so I can check it, all right?"

Harry nodded, loosened his tie, and carefully lifted the necklace out of the box, putting it on; he made sure to slip it under his robes so it wouldn't restrict his uniform. Pushing the knot of the tie back up in its proper place, he felt a warm glow on his chest as the necklace settled against his skin. It was a nice feeling, and he suddenly felt very safe.

"Well, I am still here, and I can feel the protection spells. Did you figure out which ones they were?" Harry asked curiously.

Hermione nodded. "Well, there is a spell to repel jinxes, another to repel hexes. Also, one seems to be some sort of spell bouncing charm, a shield charm, and a few others I would have to look up. I have an idea, but the magic needed for that would be in the Restricted Section."

Harry inclined his head slightly in understanding. "Well, I certainly feel the protection. I feel safe for a change. Well, considering my history with Voldemort, perhaps he put some sort of blocking spell on it?"

Hermione agreed. "I think that was one of them, though I would still suggest practicing Occlumency, just in case. It's a good thing that Professor Dumbledore helped you with it last year."

Harry shrugged. "I think he only did it because he felt guilty, but at least I learned from someone who didn't hate me." Harry looked around for a clock, and one suddenly appeared. "We'd better go. We have class in ten minutes."

Hermione nodded absently, her mind working furiously as they walked to their next class.

* * *

Classes went by quickly that day for Harry, which surprised him. That night, when he got back to his dorm, he sent Caesius a letter, thanking him for the necklace. All day, the constant warmth on his chest made him feel great. In fact, when a potion that someone had been brewing, exploded next to him, none of the hazardous contents even touched him. He just glowed for a moment, and then the glow simply faded when no more dangerous material was flying his way. Luckily, it seemed that no one noticed the momentary shield charm, or at least no one mentioned it. 

In true Snape fashion, the man went on and on about how a N.E.W.T. level class should be able to brew the potion they had been working on, without difficulty, and took 20 points from Gryffindor. Dean looked like he was about to murder the Professor at that moment. Fortunately for Gryffindor, he didn't, and simply ignored him instead.

* * *

Caesius had been extremely happy all week long. Classes were going well, and things between him and Harry were going wonderfully too. He finally had concrete proof now that Harry trusted him. He had seen the necklace work that day in potions class, though he hadn't mentioned it to anyone. It was nice to know that his hard work in putting the amulet together had worked out so well. Though he decided that he might want to remind Harry to take it off in dueling class, or someone might become suspicious. 

Pulling out that day's letter, Caesius began to read.

_Dear Caesius, _

I wanted to thank you for the necklace you sent me. It really saved me from getting a nasty potion burn today, due to Dean's cauldron exploding. It wasn't really his fault, but of course, Snape just HAD to take 20 points away from Gryffindor because of it. He just wouldn't be Snape if he hadn't, I suppose.

You know, I think you were right about Snape though. He pulled me back after class yesterday, and asked why I was suddenly paying so much attention. I told him that a friend of mine suggested that it would probably help my grade, and perhaps I wouldn't get in so much trouble. At least, I was partially honest with him. I know he can tell lies when he hears them, there are several students that think he can read minds.

Oddly enough, he complimented me on my recent potion efforts, and told me that if I kept it up, I might actually pass his class. To say I was stunned would be an understatement. I actually heard Snape say something NICE to me! I guess he has finally started to understand that he either owes me for saving his life at the end of last term, or that I am not my father. Of course, I doubt he is too happy with the feeling that he owes another Potter a debt. My father saved his life once long ago, and he never got a chance to pay that back from what I understand.

Anyway, I guess we should get off my stunned realizations, and on to other more pressing topics. First, could you send me those spells you mentioned to fix my eyes, and secondly, when are we going to meet Caesius? You promised once we got back to school that we could.

Harry

Caesius sighed and looked across the room to where Harry was sitting._ 'Soon, Harry. Soon, '_he thought with a smile.

* * *

Harry made his way down to the Great Hall the next morning, pushing his hair out of his eyes as he walked. Passing by the notice board, a colorful flyer on the board announcing something caught his attention, and he made a mental note to check it out later, before moving to his normal spot at the table.

Sitting down across from Ron and Hermione, he piled some food on his plate and began eating. Looking up, his eyes wandered around the room, letting his gaze wander to the far table for a brief moment. The room was alive with all sorts of loud conversations, and one that mentioned music, caught his attention.

"Did you hear? Draco Malfoy is starting a band!" Lavender whispered to Parvati. The pair then began to talk excitedly between themselves.

_'He's starting a band? Mmmm, I could actually use my talent for something good, and I could be in a band with him. Draco has gotten so hot since fifth year.' Harry_ hummed to himself. _'Looks like my gifts with Charms and Transfiguration will be put to some use.'_

Harry sat quietly, and pondered how he could change his appearance to fit the band. He doubted that Draco would allow him in the band in his current state, even if they were hardly ever fighting anymore. Finally, he decided that he could change his hair to a rocking color or two, dress in some different clothes, and change his appearance slightly.

"Yeah, he's holding auditions. Problem is… I think you have to be in Slytherin. It didn't say though, so you never know. And they _'have'_ been tolerating us since last year, even though we're in Gryffindor. Although, it's funny, Malfoy has been quite different since last year. I guess since his father died before school started, he can finally do what he wants. He _is_ the sole heir of the Malfoy fortune now," whispered Parvati, who was met with an eager nod from Lavender.

Harry blinked after this statement, _'Wait, did she say that Draco's father died? Oh, that's right. I guess I must have forgotten about it. I wonder if he is okay. He has been a bit quiet lately.'_

After eating breakfast, Harry got up, walked out the doors, and turned left to get to the notice board, near the entrance. Looking around, he saw that no one was in the hall, and quickly took one of the spare flyers with the information on it. Turning on his heel, he quickly rushed back up to the Gryffindor common room, to start planning his new look. He would need it by the weekend.

* * *

That afternoon, after he'd eaten a quick lunch, Harry went to Madam Pomfrey with the spells that Caesius had sent him. He found that she was quite willing to help correct his eyes for him, so that he wouldn't have to explain his reasons to Hermione, and was even happy to change his lenses to clear, non-prescription ones when he explained why he'd decided to have his vision corrected. She smiled at him a little too brightly when she told him what a clever idea it was, and how she thought it would give him an advantage later as well. At least one good thing about getting his eyes corrected was that it would make it harder to recognize him without his glasses, when he tried out for the band. 

After lunch, he was still trying to find a way to change his appearance enough, that no one would recognize him as Harry Potter. He already had a way to cover his scar, thanks to the salon that he had visited in the previous year. Muggle cosmetics were a good way to disguise it. He had actually walked around Diagon Alley unrecognized after his makeover. It was a shame that he couldn't wear his nicer clothes anywhere, but school. However, if he had started wearing them at the Dursleys, they would have tried to find his trust fund. Harry finished eating quickly, and headed back to the common room, wanting to get his homework done as soon as possible, so he could go down to the library to do some research.

Just as Ron had joined him on the couch, Hermione stormed through the door, clutching a magazine in her hand. To say that Hermione was angry would be the biggest understatement of the century. She looked like she wanted to kill, and kill with an utter and utmost prejudice.

"Can you believe what that cow, Pansy Parkinson did?" Hermione screamed, waving a magazine in the air.

"Hey! How come you get to call her a cow, when I couldn't call her one last year?" Ron yelled.

"Because last year, she didn't look like one!' Hermione snapped, causing the whole common room to laugh.

"What did she do, 'Mione?' Ron asked. He had learned by now, to pick his battles, and he knew that when Hermione was in this state, it was best not to make her any madder.

"Pansy threw a copy of _Witch_ _Weekly_ at me, which had this huge section on beauty spells, and concealment charms to make yourself look different. She told me to take some tips out of it, to _improve_ my appearance."

Hermione huffed, and threw the magazine across the room, which fell open near Harry. Intrigued, Harry discreetly picked up the magazine, and tucked it carefully in his book bag. _'Maybe I won't have to go to the Library after all,'_ he thought.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Harry slipped off to the music room, threw himself down on the couch, and started looking through the magazine. He had to find something perfect, something that made him look good, without over shadowing Draco too much. He didn't want to get in the band because he was better looking than the slightly vain boy, who was organizing it. As he thumbed through the pages, he found some new hair spells for wizards and grinned. Perfect! A moment later, his hair was a dirty blonde with black tips, and he now had deep blue-green eyes. 

Walking over to the mirror, located in the corner of the room, he smiled. _'Yeah, this will do nicely. It's nice, but not too showy, and perfect for a band.' _He charmed his hair, and it grew out a bit longer than his normal style, and shook his head. Perfect. After making several more adjustments, he grinned and quickly changed back to his normal look. He practiced his guitar for a while, and then disappeared into the secret passage, sneaking back up to the Tower. Once inside, he realized it must be dinnertime, because the common room, and most of the dorm, was empty. Heading upstairs, he walked over to his closet. Sifting through his wardrobe, he pulled out a pair of silver dragonhide trousers, along with a deep blue silk shirt, from the back and pulled them to one side, to prepare for his audition. Harry had secretly gotten himself some sexier clothes at the end of last year, before he went home. He hadn't really gotten a chance to wear them anywhere, and they would help with his new look. Turning to look in the mirror again, he grinned. _'Now, all I need is a good name. Hmmm, how about Blade? Nahh, no one would name their kid that. Hmmm. Let me think... well, could say it's a nickname... nahh... I'm not dangerous enough to pull off a nickname like that. Hmmm, what about - Anton Stryder? Sounds good enough to me...'_

* * *

As Harry and Ron walking down toward the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning, they found a small, black and white cow milling around by the entrance, mooing loudly. Vaguely remembering yesterday's conversation, Harry started looking around for Hermione. He knew that she had to be behind this, especially since she had called Pansy a cow the night before. He wasn't even sure if anyone else even knew what a cow looked like, except perhaps some Muggle-born students. Looking around the room, Harry spotted Hermione, waving from down the hall. He noticed a group of Slytherins crowded around Professor Snape, complaining. It seemed that the cow was, indeed, Pansy Parkinson.

Hermione walked around the cow, which tried to bite her, only causing her to laugh. Leaning toward Harry and Ron, she whispered, "See, I told you she was a cow." She walked past Pansy the Cow, and headed into the Great Hall.

"Remind me never to get on her bad side," Ron muttered.

"Same here, mate. Same here," agreed Harry.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Well, how did you like the first chapter? Who was this mysterious letter writer? Will Harry try out for the band and make it? Will Draco recognize Harry even with his change in appearance? 


	2. Spectrum

**Bane of my Existence**  
**By Dream Howler**

**Author Notes: **I have made several changes to chapter one and two, and fixed several of the things mentioned by my readers. Please read both chapters, as there is a lot information that has been added, and changed. The songs that are in this story will be "TECHNICALLY" by the band. They are of course, in reality copyrighted by their respective owners. I will number the songs at the bottom of each chapter and give proper copyrights. I have written a few songs that will appear in the story too, so, I will actually own them, like I do the plot of this story.

**Feedback Notes:** I want to thank everyone that has sent me such great reviews. I don't have the habit of thanking everyone like other authors for miles at the top or bottom of the chapters, because I personally find that it distracts you from the story. If you want a personal response, or you want me to respond to a question, etc., please feel free to use my contact links. I am always willing to write my readers. I am so glad that everyone seems to like the story so far. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

**Copyright:** This plot/story is ©2004 - 2005 by Dream Howler. This story is the sole property of its author, and may not be copied, in whole or in part, or posted on any other website without the written permission of the author. As for the characters that are in this story, they are the property of J.K. Rowling. I am not receiving money for writing this story, and have no money for any lawyers to take should they decide to sue me.

* * *

**_Chapter 1 Recap:_**

In Chapter One, we meet Caesius, who writes Harry letters over the summer, getting to know him. Caesius seems to know Harry quite well, and has kept his identity secret the whole time, but insists he will tell Harry who he really is when they return to school. Harry returns to school for his seventh year, but has yet to meet the mysterious Caesius who he feels drawn to, the letters having become quite personal over the summer months.

Upon arriving a school, Harry discovers that Draco Malfoy has started a band, and he decides to try out. After picking up a copy of _Witch_ _Weekly_ that Hermione threw across the room, he changed his appearance and speaking voice, so that he could become Anton Stryder, the coolest bass player in the wizarding world.

Harry also receives an exquisite necklace from Caesius that has a good number of charms on it, to protect him. Hermione, suspicious as usual at the appearance of a gift from an unknown sender, checks out the necklace, and finally gives Harry permission to wear it after performing tests to be sure that its okay. Harry feels the magic ripple around him as he puts it on, and gets a lovely, restful sleep because of it, later that night.

* * *

**_  
Chapter 2 - Spectrum_**

The rest of the week passed rather quickly for Harry as he practiced his guitar, and his new attitude. After all, he couldn't have a new identity if he didn't actually act or talk different. That weekend, the newly dressed, sexy, Anton Stryder pulled his bass from its stand in his music room, and made his way down the stairs to the classroom indicated on the flyer. Since no one knew him, he was able to pull off an incredible act. Harry had never shown anyone his quiet, confident side; he felt like he had to act the part of a Gryffindor to fit in with his housemates, which over the years had become more of an act than Draco's. Harry had been secretly observing Draco for years, and knew pretty much what kind of person he would associate himself with.

With his change of appearance, Harry decided that he needed a new attitude, and started making changes by allowing his Slytherin traits to show; this being his more confident side that he would have normally not shown around the Gryffindors, and smirked, making sure he was completely out of character. It was nice to be able to be himself with people sometimes, and he felt as though a weight was lifted from him.

He walked in, stood against the back wall, putting his foot up against it, while surveying the crowd, his large dragonhide boots making a bump against the wall. Harry had realized over the last year and a half that the main reason he wanted to be alone more often was that he liked to watch people. It all started last year after a training session with Mad Eye Moody.

Moody had been trying to teach Harry some things that he could use in the final battle, like stealth, observation, and other such things. After he had started practicing these skills, Harry realized that watching people was in fact, one of his favorite pastimes.

There were about fourteen people in the room beside himself, all from different houses, and the majority of them stunk. Harry noticed that Draco and Blaise Zabini were sitting behind a table, and Draco looked like he was about to have kittens as he sent another one away. Draco, being the type of person he was, didn't always wait until the person had left the room before commenting quietly about how much the person sucked. This left an interesting smile on Harry's face. _'Wait 'til you hear me, Draco.'_

Finally, the room cleared out, and Draco and Blaise stood up.

"I can't believe we didn't find anyone good, other than a passable drummer in Nott. Guess no one taught them how to play an instrument, and some of those people need singing lessons. We might have to wait 'til we get out of school," Draco fumed.

Draco's comments caused Harry to laugh, making them turn around to see the tall, light-haired boy leaning against the far wall, a guitar propped up against it beside him. Draco gulped. _'He is gorgeous! Ohhhhh, please let him be good!'_

Draco smirked, putting up his usual Malfoy mask to cover his feelings. Find something funny, do you?"

Harry nodded. "That I do; and in fact, I agree with your comments. Not one of them was any good."

Blaise looked over the leather-clad boy with appreciating eyes. "You think you can do any better?"

Harry shrugged. "I can. I guess it all depends on if you have any taste in music."

Draco hummed softly. _'The guy has the confidence of a Slytherin, though I know that if I saw this guy in my dungeons all the time, I would have noticed him by now.'_ Draco grinned. _'Though, what house could he be in? He could be a Gryffindor, but are they this cool? Perhaps he was placed in the wrong house; it's been known to happen. Look at Granger; she should be in Ravenclaw.'_

"What house are you in?" Draco asked, a grin forming on his face.

Harry shrugged.

"I don't really think that it matters. However, I was told when I was sorted that I should have been in Slytherin. Guess it saw something in me that I didn't know about." Harry shrugged again and formed a smirk on his face. "Let me guess, you don't want me in your band because I won't tell you what house I'm in. Well, guess I should be going then, if my services aren't needed."

Draco and Blaise looked at each other blinking. "No!" they both shouted in unison. "You should know that most of the normal prejudices haven't really been strong in the last year or so. Why would your house matter to me? Let's at least hear you on the guitar. Can you can sing, too?" asked Draco.

Harry nodded. "Sure. I would say, 'doesn't everyone', but I don't think anyone in the room earlier could."

Draco and Blaise laughed. This guy was funny when he wanted to be. Humor was always a good thing. Harry grinned, pushing himself off the wall. He grabbed his guitar and walked onto the stage. He pointed to the nearby piano with his wand, causing them to blink. _'Where had he hidden it in his outfit?'_ Draco thought.

After Harry muttered something, he picked up his guitar, the piano began playing, and a few moments later, he joined in. He had picked a Weird Sisters song, one with a really good bass line, and of course, he sang along as well. Harry's rich baritone voice echoed throughout the hall, startling Draco and Blaise with the intensity that he had while singing. Watching him perform did something to the both of them; stirring Draco's aching soul.

Grinning, Draco went up, picked up his lead guitar, and started playing with him. A few moments later, the spell wore off the piano, and Blaise took up where it left off. Each of the three voices blended almost perfectly, Draco, with his smooth tenor voice, Blaise, with his deep, sexy bass voice, and Harry's baritone, filled the room in perfect harmony.

This remarkable sight startled the straggler, who was late for the auditions as he walked in the room. Noticing that there was still a spot open for a drummer, he pulled his sticks out of his pocket, popped up on the stage, and started playing along blending in his own baritone voice. To the outside observer, it wouldn't have looked like the group had never played together before. After the song finished, Draco turned around to find himself face to face with Wayne Hopkins, a Hufflepuff of all creatures. _'Well,' Draco thought. 'It could be worse...'_

"Hello, Hopkins. Glad to see someone in this school can play the drums. I was beginning to think we wouldn't find anyone. Only person that was passable, was Nott, and even he wasn't that great," Draco drawled.

Wayne grinned. "Thanks, Malfoy. Does that mean that I'm in?"

Draco nodded before looking over at the stranger. "Well, might want to tell me your name before I let you know anything. I don't think I've seen you around before."

Harry grinned. "Well, guess that all depends on which one you want. The name I go by, and my given name are different. You can call me Anton. Anton Stryder."

_'A stage name?'_ Draco wondered, and blinked._ 'Why won't he just tell us his real name? Oh well, I don't really care. He's good! However, let's play with him a bit.'_

Draco walked toward Harry, and looked him in the eye. "Well Anton, I don't think I can let you in the band if I don't know who you are."

"Why, so you can kick me out afterward? No, it's either this or not at all," Harry said in a tone that left no room for discussion, and shook his head.

Draco looked startled. "What do you mean 'kick you out afterward'? Why would I kick you out?"

"Look, you and I have had enough disagreements in the past that I know for a fact that if I had auditioned as myself, you would have laughed me right out of the room. I wanted you to give me a fair shot, so it has to be like this," Harry said.

Draco mulled over this in his head. While he hated not knowing who this guy was, something that irked him to no end, he was in an awkward position. He really had no choice. It was this or nothing, at least for now any way. However, whatever Draco wanted, he got, and he would get the truth out of this guy soon enough. "Well, as much as I think we deserve to know who you really are, you can keep your secret...for now. Well, uh, welcome to the group," Draco said as he held out a hand for Anton to shake.

Harry grinned, slipping his hand into the cool grasp of Draco Malfoy's, slyly avoiding the hanging question in the air about his identity. "Thanks, Draco. I'm glad you liked my audition. By the way, I have a room we can practice in; it used to be the old music room. I found it in my fifth year, and have been using it ever since."

Draco smirked. "Well, that is good news. Hear that Blaise? Already have a place to practice, and a full band. This year is going to be great."

Blaise nodded. "Yep, I think so. Welcome aboard Anton, Wayne..."

* * *

The trip back to the common room was uneventful, but Harry couldn't be happier. He was in Draco's band! Harry took his secret passage back to his music room, and quickly changed back to his normal appearance; not that he had changed too much to begin with, but it was enough that Draco didn't recognize him. _'Thank Merlin...' _

He had learned long ago that changing one's hair, voice, face, and eye colour were the easiest changes to make people think you were someone else, and of course, getting rid of that blasted scar.

The next morning at breakfast, Harry hummed happily as he ate, several of the girls around the table, along with several of the boys, noticed his mood, and even a few whispered that perhaps he had gotten a girlfriend or something. Normally, Harry didn't go around humming, and it was an odd occurrence. When the morning post came, a letter dropped into his hands. Harry looked around slyly, _'Draco is trying to be sneaky to find out who I really am I bet.'_ Luckily, everyone in the area he sat in got something, so even if Malfoy had noticed his silver ribbon encased letter before he slipped it in his bag, he wouldn't know who had grabbed the letter.

The few people that had noticed that he had gotten a letter looked at him oddly. "Aren't you going to read your letter, Harry?" Ron asked.

"Nahh, it's not really important. I'll read it later," Harry said with a shrug. The subject was promptly dropped; everyone pretty much knew that he wouldn't continue the conversation. Harry never really talked much anymore when it came to the abundance of letters that he received.

After breakfast, Harry headed down toward the Potions classroom, and slipped off into a side passage, to a room where he could read the letter. Harry was pretty good at hiding things, so unless someone was invisible and following him, he knew no one would see him with the letter.

* * *

_  
Anton,_

_We will meet you at the entrance to the Great Hall at 7:00 p.m., so you can take us to this room to practice. I hope that this letter gets to you. I wish you would tell at least me who you are, but for now, I will try not to make an effort to find out._

_Don't make me wait very long. I do get rather impatient when I don't know something I should, and I will find out eventually. _

_Draco_

* * *

Harry sighed. _'Thank Merlin he is letting it go. I doubt I could tell him who I am right now. I just want some time to get to know him better. If he will let anyone in, that is.'_ Sneaking out of the secret passage, he continued to Potions. Walking inside, he took his seat near the middle of the room. The Slytherins always got all the back seats, so he sat in the row right before them. 

The class really didn't bother him that much. Potions was now a N.E.W.T. level class, which combined all four houses, since there weren't many students that had passed their O.W.L's, being allowed in Professor Snape's advanced classes. Since last year, the Slytherins really didn't bother him too much, except an occasional stare or the general look of loathing, depending on who it was. Most of the time during class, he would often catch several of the students watching him. He wasn't sure if they watched him because of who he was, because he was powerful, or because they thought he was cute.

He assumed it was mainly to do with whole 'hero of the wizarding world' thing, though he didn't really know. It's not like he could just come out and ask them why they were staring. He would probably cause Professor Snape to take a bunch of points from Gryffindor. Most of the girls in his house had come to realize that Harry didn't date anyone due to personal preference. Lavender had actually asked him out once, and he politely turned her down. She wore more makeup than anyone he knew, and he didn't like that very much. _'What is it with Lavender and Parvati with makeup anyway?'_ Harry thought.

Turning back to his potion, he glanced over to his most recent staring partner. He was a Slytherin, and was actually quite cute. However, Harry was pretty sure that the reason he was being stared at was because Draco had asked all the Slytherins to keep a look out for a seventh year that matched a certain description. Luckily, his appearance was back to normal with his black hair and deep green eyes.

When Potions class ended, Harry quietly packed his bag and stood, quickly moving toward the door when he almost ran into Ron, and mumbled an apology. He told Ron that he was going back to the dorm to study, and hurried off to get his clothes and go to practice. Harry quickly headed through the common room, walked up the stairs, changed into some different clothes, and hurried out the door. Fortunately, no one noticed that Harry had put on new clothes under his house robes: a nice pair of tight jeans and navy blue shirt.

Harry stepped into the passageway, changed his appearance, and walked to his music room to set up his equipment before walking down to the entrance hall to get the rest of the band. Luckily, he wasn't late, though he doubted that he could tell Draco he was late because he had to change his appearance.

"Ahhh, Anton, glad you got my note, let's get to this music room of yours," Draco said.

Harry nodded. "Sure, follow me."

Harry silently led the group to his sanctuary, and removed the wards on the doors to allow them to enter. "Here we go. I'll just go get my bass out of storage." Harry walked over to a large wardrobe on the far wall, muttered some words the others weren't able to catch, and the door opened.

Draco hadn't really had much time to observe the guy, but he had decided that he liked him. He was sure that the guy was different, yet familiar, though he couldn't quite place his finger on why. He had asked several of the seventh year Slytherins to be on the look out for a guy with his description this afternoon in their classes, and the report had come back empty. This probably meant that this guy was probably very smart, and very good at Transfiguration. Luckily, Anton seemed to not be a know-it-all like Granger.

Practice went pretty well, and in fact, it was rather nice. Anton had several really cool songs that he had written that would be great to try, and fit Draco so well that he felt like he had almost written them himself. Though, he definitely knew that it was not the case. The more he got to read some of Anton's stuff, the more he wondered who this guy was. Either the guy knew a lot about his life, or it was just an eerie coincidence. _'Could someone else have a life like mine?'_ Draco wondered.

After practice, they began trying to come up with a band name, and finally, after much thought and careful consideration, they decided to call themselves… "Spectrum. It's perfect," Draco said, grinning happily.

* * *

A month had passed since the first band practice, and the band was getting really good in Harry's opinion. Professor Dumbledore of course, knew that Harry was in Draco's band, and was glad that even though he was disguising himself to do so, Harry was making friends in other houses. The Professor was overjoyed that the band covered three of the schoolhouses, which would go over well when they had their first concert, which he had scheduled over Halloween. 

The band was extremely excited about their first concert, and practiced in almost all of their spare time. When Professor Dumbledore had been told the name of the band that Harry was in, he had laughed and said it was an interesting name, though he would have recommended Bane. He commented that it would fit at least two of the members, mainly Draco and Harry, because of Voldemort's obsession with both of them. Draco had become a target because he had refused to serve him, and Harry for the whole prophesy thing. Dumbledore had asked Harry on several occasions when he was going to tell Draco who he really was, and Harry told him not for a while. He was having the time of his life being someone else, and was truly happy for the first time since he could remember.

Dumbledore had smiled knowingly and nodded at Harry. "Harry, the longer you keep the truth from Mr. Malfoy, the more upset he will be with you. Don't you think he is over these childhood rivalries by now? He hasn't really been mean to you since last year. He hasn't picked a fight with Mr. Weasley or Ms. Granger since some time last term, and he hasn't started anything since this term started either. Perhaps all that animosity between you before was an act so that he wouldn't get in trouble with his father?"

"I know, Professor, and I know I should tell him, but I haven't really been his best friend. Just because he hasn't picked fights with me doesn't mean that he actually likes me now. He just grew up a bit, and decided that fights were undignified."

Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling. "Well, Harry my boy, it is of course, up to you whether you tell Mr. Malfoy about who you are, but he is a very smart young man, and he will find out sooner or later."

"I know, Professor, but hopefully it won't be 'til after we graduate. I just can't tell him now. I like him Professor, and I just can't have him going back to hating me so soon. In fact, I am surprised that he hasn't figured it out already," Harry murmured.

"All right, Harry. I hope that you know what you are doing. The longer you wait, the longer he is going to be upset with you in the end. Though, I will say one more thing," Dumbledore said. "'What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.'"

"I know, Professor. I know," Harry whispered as he stood and walked to the door. On the way down to the practice room, he ducked into a bathroom, cast his glamour charms to change his appearance, and went down to the lake to think.

* * *

Harry sighed; his conscious was getting to him. He really wanted to tell Draco who he was, but a month wasn't long enough. Harry, in fact, had originally planned never to tell anyone who he was, in the band or otherwise. If they knew, either they would kick him out, or they would expect more out of him. They would probably expect Harry to make them famous, so they could make lots of money. Harry had enough of those kinds of problems already, and certainty didn't need anymore. Luckily, he had already changed his appearance for band practice, before deciding to go down by the lake for some reflection. As he reached the water's edge, a song came to mind, and he started to sing.

* * *

Deception!  
How long must I continue this deception?  
This masquerade?  
Deception!  
My life seems like it's nothing but deception!  
A big charade! 

I never meant to lie to you; I swear it.  
I never meant to play those games.  
At times, I want to cry to you 'cause I can't bear it!  
But I fear my life will land in flames

Deception!  
I pray that you'll forgive all this deception!  
This masquerade!  
Deception!  
It's time to put an end to this deception!  
But I'm afraid!

When the whole thing is at an end,  
And you learn that it's just pretend,  
You'll cry

Deception!  
I pray that you'll forgive all this deception!  
This masquerade!  
Deception!  
It's time to put an end to this deception!  
But I'm afraid!

When the whole thing is at an end,  
And you learn that it's just pretend.  
You'll cry

Deception!  
Deception!  
Deception!  
Deception!  
Deception!  
Deception!  
Deception!

* * *

Harry sighed, turned back toward the school, and headed toward band practice, not noticing a very confused Draco Malfoy was following behind him. Draco followed Anton, and cornered him as soon as he entered the practice room. 

"Look, Anton. Just come clean on your name. I mean; I'm lucky that an owl gets to you most of the time. I'm not going to jump down your throat, you have nothing to worry about," Draco said.

Harry shrugged. "I just want to keep it secret. What does it matter?"

Draco blinked. He knew that the guy didn't look like this. He only saw him when they had practice, and that was it. Draco had every person in Slytherin trying to find out who he was, and they'd all come back empty handed. Even if he was cute, Draco decided that the rest of the group should be told who he was.

"I know you're using a Glamour Charm, Anton. I have never seen you around school..." Draco said accusingly.

Harry sighed and shook his head before he shrugged, watching the group stare at him. "Well, actually, I have a good reason for doing so," he said with a slight sigh.

"I am pretty sure that you look nice either way," Draco whispered. Draco looked over Anton and a thought occurred. _'I told him he would look nice either way... Did he catch it? Oh, this is so wrong. What about...? No, I mustn't think about him right now. I'll worry about him later.'_

* * *

Before practice that night, the group talked about the upcoming concert that they were to give on Halloween. Draco couldn't help noticing that when Halloween was mentioned, Anton would get this sad look on his face, as if he was going to be meeting his impending doom on that very night. 

After practice ended, Draco quietly asked Anton to stay behind. "Anton, I know you will probably laugh, and well, I hate to pry, but every time Halloween was mentioned, you looked so sad. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I hope you know that I am here for you."

Harry blinked. _'Draco Malfoy is offering me a shoulder to cry on? Someone to talk to if I needed to get something off my chest?'_ Tumbling out of his thoughts, Harry replied, "Thanks Draco, it means a lot that you would trouble yourself over me, but it's not really necessary. I'll be okay. I always manage to get out of every bad situation somehow."

* * *

The band had its first concert coming up soon, and this new guy, Anton, was confusing Draco a lot. He seemed so familiar, that Draco would often confuse things he had said with something someone else had said, though he couldn't seem to remember where he'd heard them. While it was confusing, he found he rather liked this guy; he was good looking, and nice, yet he carried with him a confidence that Draco had only seen among the purebloods in Slytherin. 

The boy played a real mean bass, too, which was nice. He also wrote his own music, and one song sounded like it had been written just for him. He was unsure why, but he knew that for some reason, Anton obviously felt that he was deceiving him, and in a way, he was, but Draco honestly didn't believe that Anton wanting to keep his identity secret was such a big deal that it compelled him to write it. Draco wasn't even supposed to see the song, but Anton had left it out from when he was writing it earlier.

Draco grabbed his guitar, played a few of the chords for the song, and began to sing it. It was really good in his opinion. Perhaps he could talk Anton into letting them sing it for the concert. Of course, it was a bit late to be adding new songs, but Draco didn't care. The song was perfect for the band!

* * *

When Harry came in later and saw Draco reading his large folder of songs, he walked over and snatched it out of his hands. It was the first time that Draco had ever seen Anton mad, and to be honest, it was a bit scary. 

"You know, I thought that I could trust you, Draco. Invading someone's privacy isn't right, you know," he said with a soft, yet menacing voice.

"Anton, you had it lying open on the desk. How was I supposed to know you didn't want me to read it? You know I can't get through the wards in your cabinet, it's still locked you know. Go check it," Draco replied softly, sounding a bit hurt.

Harry nodded and walked over to the cabinet, checking the wards; they were just as he last left them. Sighing, he turned around and faced Draco. "Sorry Draco, I... It's just… I have many private songs in there, too, that I don't want anyone to see. Not everything I write is for the band, you know."

Draco nodded. "I gathered that Anton, though I must say that the one called Pawn is very interesting. It makes me wonder who you wrote it for. I would really like us to do it for our concert."

Harry stared at Draco silently and then sighed. "It's for me, Draco. It's about my life..."

Draco stared at Harry quietly and sighed. "I'm sorry Anton, really. I just saw it lying there, and I was curious. You never let us see all the songs you write; I didn't mean to invade your privacy. You're my band mate, and I hope… a friend. I didn't mean to upset you."

Harry blinked, his jaw dropping in surprise. "The great Draco Malfoy, the Ice Prince of Slytherin, is apologizing to someone? Someone owl the Prophet! No one will ever believe me."

Draco blinked at Harry, and shook his head, a wry smile on his lips. "Anton, you should know by now the inter-house lines are slowly coming down. The Slytherins get along with most of the houses now, even Gryffindor for the most part. Heck, Weasley is dating a Slytherin, and has been for a while now."

Harry nodded.

"I know, Draco. Guess I am not used to seeing this side of you."

Draco sighed. "I wish you would tell me who you are, Anton. There are only so many possibilities when it comes to seventh years, you know."

Harry sighed. "Draco, I am doing something that I love to do, not something I am forced to do, nor something that my heart tells me is right. Pawn is about my life, and it's what I am. A Pawn in the biggest game in life; one I have no choice but to be in, no matter what I choose to do with my life. Would you really want to rob me of the one joy I have in my life?"

Draco looked down at his feet. "No Anton, I... I just get this feeling I know you, and it irritates me, all right. I don't see what the big deal is. If you don't want Blaise or Wayne to know, you could tell me. Unlike most Slytherins, I can keep a secret, you know."

Harry sighed softly. "I'm sorry, Draco. I just can't tell anyone right now."

Draco nodded. "I understand, I guess." Deciding the atmosphere was getting too awkward; Draco decided to change the subject. "So, can we do Pawn for the concert? I know it is a bit late to be adding new songs, but if it goes as well as I think it will, I think we will have a major hit on our hands," Draco said excitedly.

Harry shrugged. "I don't know, Draco. It is a bit personal, though. I know that the people I wrote it for would probably figure out pretty quickly who I was, or at least suspect."

Draco's face fell. "I understand, Anton. I wouldn't want you to get hurt. I just really like it. Though, wasn't the purpose of writing it to let them know that you're tired of being lied to?"

Harry nodded.

"Yeah, I've been fed lies since I can first remember. I wrote the song when I first started learning to play. Eventually, I wrote the music for it. It's a bit harder than you were playing it earlier."

Draco blinked. "You heard me singing it?"

Harry chuckled. "You're in _my_ practice room, Draco. I was alerted the moment you came in the room. I just couldn't get away from my friends right away. I haven't really told them much about all of this."

Draco frowned and glared at Harry. "I bet you did this as a test, didn't you? You wanted to see if I would break your wards, and try to find out what you are hiding from me. You wanted to see if I would read your songs while your back was turned. Well, guess you were at least partly right."

Harry blinked and looked at Draco with a shocked expression.

"What are you talking about, Draco? I didn't know I left my folder out. I thought I took it with me. In fact, I just realized it was missing, and was coming to get it to write another song that just came to me. When I saw it in your hands, I, well, just assumed you had taken it. I'm sorry, Draco; I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

Draco flushed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Anton. I guess we're both jumping to conclusions today. Let's just forget all the accusations; I don't want to fight with you, Anton."

Harry smiled. "I don't want to fight with you, either, Draco."

Harry and Draco shared the smile for a moment before Harry frowned. "Draco, I thought I would let you know that there is a rumor floating around about you."

Draco looked slightly confused, not to mention a bit miffed. "What is it this time? I've heard it all since I came to school. The majority of them aren't true."

Harry cleared his throat. "Well, I heard you were, uh, gay."

Draco laughed. "Is that all? Well, that one is true actually. I bet it was Millie. She probably heard Blaise and I talking about who we thought the hottest guys were, beside ourselves, in school. We started a list last year, and have been adding or subtracting them ever since."

Harry looked a bit shocked at Draco's blunt admission that he was gay. Ron and Hermione had told him that wizards took homosexuality a lot better than Muggles did, but if the great Draco Malfoy was gay, then there was hope that he would find someone once Voldemort was dead after all. After a moment, Harry made a decision.

"Yeah, I guess I wanted to know since I'm gay, too. I don't know many guys that are gay at school. For a while, I thought I was the only one."

Draco grinned. "Well, looks like the entire band is gay or bisexual then. I saw Wayne snogging Zacharias Smith yesterday."

Harry laughed. "Great. Well, now the problem is that we probably won't have as many fans. Will girls want to swoon after a gay band?"

Draco tilted his head. "Oh, I bet they would. We are all rather good-looking. Moreover, I'm sure Blaise is at least bisexual, and Waynecould possibly just be bisexual as well. I haven't had a chance to ask him yet. We can ask him tonight at band practice."

Harry chuckled. "Sounds like a plan to me."

Draco smiled and sat down on one of the plush couches. "So, about that song…"

Harry sighed. "All right, Draco. If the rest of the group wants to do it, we can. However, it's much harder than what we normally sing. It's kind of a hard, yelling song."

Draco grinned. "Well, why don't you play it for me really quick, and I can tell you if I still like it?"

Harry nodded. "Okay, I can do that."

Harry got up, walked over to the instruments, and muttered a spell. Picking up his bass guitar, he started to sing.

* * *

Pawn 

I'm just a pawn of my destiny...  
Lies and half-truths are all they feed me...  
I'm just a pawn of my destiny...  
When will they tell me the truth?

I've been lied to so many times...  
They think that I'm merely a child...  
They don't understand that I don't want the fame...  
I don't even want the job.

Chorus:

However, being me...  
I just can't stand...  
To let the world down...  
So, I am just a pawn of my destiny...  
Even though I don't belong. I've been a pawn for so many years...  
I've been waiting for the truth...  
I've been a pawn since the day I was born...  
And my life has never been fair...

Madman running after me...  
And no one can tell me why...  
Sure, they say it's my destiny...  
But why did he pick me...  
Chorus:

However, being me...  
I just can't stand...  
To let the world down...  
So, I am just a pawn of my destiny...  
Even though I don't belong.

I'm just a pawn my destiny...  
I am tired of being one...  
Now I am here... demanding the truth...  
Or I won't be responsible... for the hell you let loose.

Draco was grinning by the end of the song. _'Anton has the perfect voice for that song. It's just breathtaking. It's moody and filled with rage; the girls will swoon at the passion that they will be able to see in Anton's eyes. I bet even a few will try to find a way to convince him that he's not gay. Not that it will happen, of course,'_ Draco thought.

"You should stand in front of a mirror the next time you sing that song, and watch yourself, Anton. Such raw passion and rage, the audience will be swooning at your feet," Draco said.

Harry laughed. "Well, it would be nice to have someone doing that. I doubt they'll be my type, however. All right, if you want me to sing it for the concert, I will."

Draco winked. "Great! I can't wait to have you play that for Blaise and Wayne! You won't be sorry! You'll see."

Harry nodded. "I hope so Draco…"

* * *

Harry walked back to his room a bit slower that night after practice. Draco had almost caught on to who he was with the discovery of that song. He couldn't believe how Draco, being as smart as he was, didn't notice the fact that the mad man was Voldemort, and it boggled his mind. Harry was sure that Draco would have picked up who he was, if he had read any of the songs under Pawn. Luckily, he hadn't gotten that far, or appeared not to at least. 

Shrugging as he trudged into the common room, Harry decided to write a letter to Caesius before going to bed. After he finished, he locked the letter in his trunk to keep it safe before he could get it to the owlery for the morning post. The next morning before breakfast, he pulled out his owl whistle, walked to the window, and blew it. After a few moments, Arrow winged his way toward him, and set off with the letter to his owner. Harry was glad Caesius had sent him the whistle over the summer, and explained that Arrow was trained to respond to it. He knew that if he sent the boy a letter with Hedwig, she would give him away immediately, since he was the only student in Hogwarts with a snowy owl.

* * *

Caesius was just about to head for breakfast when he was alerted to his owl whistle going off. Caesius had set the whistle up to let him know when a letter was coming, so that he could meet his owl in the common room. He had sent Harry one before school started, so that they could continue to write, and told him that he'd found that Arrow was the only owl trained to respond to it. 

Centuries ago, when Slytherin built the dungeons under the lake, he had put in an owl tunnel that led from the outside wall above the lake, into the common room. When an owl or delivery bird started to fly down the tunnel, the portrait of Slytherin, which hung over the mantle, would open allowing the bird would fly to its recipient.

Only birds could find the tunnel that was cleverly hidden in the walls of the school, and the portrait would only open for them. This prevented other animals, which may have come across the opening, from sneaking down in the common room as well.

A moment after he reached the common room, Arrow flew out the portrait opening, and landed next to him. Taking the scroll, Draco gave him an owl treat, and hurried back to his room to hide the letter, before going off to breakfast. As much as he wanted to read it now, he was starving.

Caesius went up to the Great Hall for breakfast, and quickly ate his food. He had almost brought the letter with him to breakfast, but since no one but Blaise knew that he was writing Harry; he didn't want to give anything away just yet. There were still those in his house who might become Death Eaters, and he didn't want to become even _more_ of a target.

Caesius quickly slipped out of the Great Hall, and hurried back to his room to read Harry's letter. Perhaps it was time to come out to Harry, so to speak. If only he had the guts to sit through the rejection, he was sure to receive.

Pulling the letter out of its hiding place, Draco began to read.

_Dearest Caesius, _

_I would like to apologize to you. I don't think that I have been a very good friend during most of these letters. I have, of course, answered your questions about me, but there were times I really wanted to write something else when I answered them. I hope you can forgive me from holding back. _

_It's has been hard on me to come to a point where I feel that I can trust you with how I really feel. I would like to thank you again for your gift. It's been a very long time since I have felt so safe. It has made me wonder when this whole situation will come crashing down around me. There are times when everything in my life goes horribly wrong, and I was afraid that this would be one of them. I was afraid that if I really started to show you how I felt, that you would run off to some magazine or newspaper and tell them all my secrets. _

_After much thought, I decided that you really needed to know the real me. That I would not continue to pretend to be what the papers or the rest of the wizarding world believes me to be, but my real self. The one that no one bothers to look for, and the reason I have chosen to remain alone since I have reached the age where most others would begin to date. _

_You have asked about my friends and I, so I warn you now, that this will be a long letter. First, let me ask you a question. Have you ever thought you really knew someone, and it turns out that you didn't know them at all? I have found that many of the people I have thought were my friends or even enemies over the years, are very different people now. _

_My friend, Ron, is dating a Slytherin, and no one saw that coming at all. Personally, I thought he would end up with Hermione when we were younger. I just knew that it would happen, and I even encouraged it a time or two. It didn't occur to me that Hermione was head over heels in love with Ron's brother, Fred. _

_Ron, I think, had a crush on Hermione since we saved her from the troll in our first year. I think Ron's main problem was, though he liked her, she always made him feel stupid. Hermione is so smart, and so driven, that poor Ron just couldn't keep up. Hermione found her definite match in Fred. Fred might be a joker, and love to play pranks, but when it comes to brains, he can match Hermione ounce for ounce. _

_After Ron lost his chance with Hermione, I had no idea where he would turn. I think it surprised us all when he started dating Daphne. Ever since I was eleven, Ron preached, and I do mean preached, especially to me, since I didn't know anything about the wizarding world, how evil the Slytherins were. It used to frustrate me so much, that sometimes, I wouldn't talk to him for days. _

_Last year, Ron was walking in from Quidditch practice without me, and he overheard a conversation between Daphne and Millicent Bulstrode. Daphne's parents, though purebloods, were actually not on Voldemort's side. Daphne was afraid for her parent's lives, and decided to ask for Professor Dumbledore's help. Ron followed them all the way to Dumbledore's office, and then waited for them at the bottom of the stairs until they came down. I guess they started dating after that, and when Ron had gotten to know her, he realized that she was the girl he had been looking for all of his life. _

_It's times like these where I wonder where my fairy tale ending is. Will I ever find a guy that will want me like that? I have never really known true love. In fact, the only people I know that love me are Hermione, and Ron's family. That of course is a different kind of love. I have never had parental love, unless you count my godfather, Sirius Black. Mrs. Weasley has been the closest thing to a mother I have had, since I lost mine when I was only a baby. However, even Mrs. Weasley can sometimes smother me with her overprotective ways. _

_Yes, you did read correctly, my Godfather was Sirius Black. It is a shame that he did not live long enough to get his name cleared by the Ministry. Sirius was never given a trial, or a chance to defend himself, they didn't care that he was innocent. When the charges against him were dropped with the confirmed capture and subsequent death of Peter Pettigrew, it was a moot point by then. It just didn't matter anymore. The Ministry paid a good portion of money to his estate in restitution, but what good would that do a dead man? It just meant that I got more blood money in my trust fund. _

_Up until last year, I was thinking of being an Auror. I even studied hard to pass my potions exam so that I could go into it. However, after seeing what the Ministry does to people, I honestly don't think that I could work for them. I don't know what to do with my life now. It's been suggested that I go on to play professional Quidditch, but I don't really think that is a good idea right now. Perhaps when Voldemort is gone, then I'll be able to do it, but not until then. I don't think anyone realizes that if I do decide to become a professional right now, I will be in a large stadium with thousands of people. I would be a sitting duck, and so would the people in the stands. Easy pickings for that deranged lunatic. _

_Anyway, I guess I have probably bored you enough for one day. If you have any more questions, please let me know. _

_Harry _

* * *

Caesius stared at the letter for a few moments, digesting the information he had just read. He had asked him about his friends, and more about himself weeks ago, but he had never really answered it. Caesius couldn't believe it. Harry was still afraid this was all some elaborate plot. Caesius had never realized just how horrible a childhood he had. 

Harry had no parents to love him, a mean cousin and family, and hand me down clothes. It was time, long past time to end this little charade. He needed to tell Harry who he was as soon as possible. He only hoped that when Harry found out, that he wouldn't be too upset.

* * *

**  
End of Chapter Author Notes: **Hello everyone! How did you like it? We have a guilt riddled Harry Potter, a flirting Draco, and Harry is now in a band! Of course, he was going to get in the band, right. I mean, he IS Harry Potter after all, there's not much that he couldn't do if he put his mind to it, and it was the whole purpose of the beginning of this story. I hope that you liked my song, Pawn. It came to me one day when I was rereading parts of OOTP. I am still upset that Sirius is dead. frowns 

What do you think will happen at the concert? Will Harry accidentally reveal himself to too many people if he sings Pawn? Does Draco suspect that he knows Anton more intimately than he does now? Will Caesius reveal his true intentions soon? Well, that I can't answer. That would spoil the plot!

Don't forget to feed the author and muse! Review today! Please? smiles

* * *

**Songs:**

1. Deception, by Jem and Holograms - Note: A few of the words have changed because it is technically a love song, but it fit so well right then with Anton/Harry's frame of mind.

2. Pawn, by Dream Howler. All rights reserved! It's mine! Don't take it!


	3. The Concert

**Bane of my Existence**  
**By Dream Howler**

* * *

**Author Notes and Change Notes:** I have made several changes to chapter one and two, and fixed several of the things mentioned by my readers. Please read both chapters again, as quite a bit of information was changed. I also want to apologize for taking so long to get out Chapter 3. Life has been a real Bch lately, so please forgive my lateness. Another reason for my tardiness was that I held back on publishing this chapter until the new book came out, and now I wish that I didn't. I also would like to thank my great editor Drakeluvr for all her help. 

**Canon Notes:** This story will be now be labeled Pre-HBP, which takes place in my version of Harry Potter's seventh year, based on all the events of the first five books. As for book 6, most of the content of this story will be different. I will be taking some of the spells, the info on Tom Riddle into account, the Horcruxes, and small events out of HBP, but the majority of this story will be in an Alternate Reality.

In addition, I did not describe Blaise as Black in this story, since it is a small detail; I could go back and describe him as Black. However, I earlier envisioned him as an dark Italian, and I have decided not to change it. Furthermore, since this story is in 7th year, the events described as flash backs of 6th year obviously didn't happen in canon.

**Feedback Notes:** Wow, the number of Reviews I have received overwhelms me. I almost gave up this story after the HBP came out. However, my faithful readers have persuaded me not to, so I will continue it as I once envisioned it, and will try not to let HBP influence my story **_too_** much.

**Contact Info:** I also have a writing journal, and a mailing list to update people on my writing.

**Copyright:** This plot/story is ©2004 - 2005 by Dream Howler. This story is the sole property of its author, and may not be copied, in whole or in part, or posted on any other website without the written permission of the author. As for the characters that are in this story, they are the property of J.K. Rowling. I am not receiving money for writing this story, and have no money for any lawyers to take should they decide to sue me.

* * *

**Answering Readers Questions:** What does Caesius mean? Caesius is Latin for blue-gray, especially eyes. Many people in fan fiction have described Draco with Silver eyes with a bit of blue in them, and I liked that combination. My friend Jayson gave me the name so it is his idea. Thanks!

* * *

**_Chapter 2 Recap:_**

In Chapter 2, Harry joined the band, Spectrum, after using several charms, including ones to change his appearance, because he believed that they would never allow him to join if they knew his real identity. The band is made up of two Slytherins, one Gryffindor, and one Hufflepuff; hence the name, Spectrum. Harry also spoke with Professor Dumbledore, who made him feel guilty for not revealing to Draco who he was.

Even though he feels guilty, he has convinced himself that as soon as Draco and the other members of the band would either kick him out, or worse, expect him to lead them to fame and fortune by revealing his identity. Fearing rejection, Harry has no idea who to turn to, since not even Ron and Hermione know he's in Draco's band. Not only that; but since Harry has yet to meet Caesius, he has no idea how his new friendship with Draco will make his pen pal feel.

The more time Harry spends with Draco, during band practice, the more he comes to realize that Draco isn't the stuck up git that he once thought him to be. However, Harry believes that Draco is more comfortable around him because he isn't Harry Potter, and it would ruin everything if Draco knew the truth, memories of his discussion with the headmaster coming quickly to mind.

One day, Harry slips up by accidentally leaving out his folder of songs in the music room that he used to practice in, that he now shares with the band, forgetting to lock it away. He is alerted to someone entering the room when he's not there, and confronts Draco, finding the boy with the songbook he left behind. Angry that the boy's reading things he never intended to share, he almost reveals himself, but effectively creates a diversion, relieved that Draco didn't pursue the issue.

Only time will tell what will happen, stay tuned!

* * *

**_Chapter 3 - The Concert_**

It was still several days before the Halloween, and the scheduled concert, but Harry was a nervous wreck. _'What if I forget the spells, and can't change my appearance? What will I do if I forget the words to the songs? What will happen if the spells wear off during the concert if I do remember them? What if Draco catches the slip, and boots me out of the band?' _Harry groaned. _'Okay. Stop panicking, Harry. You're not going to let anything like that happen. If you can stand up to a Dark Wizard every year since you were eleven, then you can surely pull off a concert!'_

Needing someone to talk to about his insecurities, Harry decided that the best therapy would be to write Caesius. Caesius always made him feel better. The sad part was, that Harry was beginning to feel a bit guilty about his new friendship with Draco, uncertain if the boy would be jealous or not. The truth was, he found the new Draco to be much more intriguing than he would ever give him credit for. Draco could be witty, extremely charming, and Harry had recently discovered how good-looking he had become. His pointy face developed into a strong, well-formed chin, his hair was longer now, and pulled back in a silver ribbon. There were times where Harry found he did a double take while looking at Draco. Sometimes it would take him several minutes to make sure it wasn't Lucius standing next to him during band practice.

Shaking his head, Harry walked over to his trunk, pulled out a piece of parchment, ink, and a quill. It was time that Harry did something for himself for a change, and forget the consequences for once. He was a Gryffindor, and he was going to act like one; boldly rushing into the situation, and take what he wanted.

After he finished his letter, he leaned out the window and blew the special whistle that Caesius had given him. A few moments later, Arrow flew into Gryffindor tower, and Harry sent off, carrying his new letter. Putting away his things, he went down to dinner. He was nervous now, but for a different reason, and he hoped that Caesius would finally put him out of his misery. Harry just had to find out who Caesius was soon, or he feared that his attention would begin to focus on Draco, who he was certain, wanted nothing to do with the real him.

* * *

Draco Malfoy was in the music room, currently trying to write a new song, but it wasn't turning out quite the way he had planned. Frustrated, Draco threw down his quill and sighed. It wasn't like him to feel this sort of anxiety. He was now mostly without a family, or any sort of support system, and had no one he could really turn to. Most of his so-called friends had pulled away from him after his father had died. He realized the hard way that the only reason most of the Slytherin's appeared to be his friend was due to his father's influence. It had hurt when he realized that the only ones, who hadn't totally deserted him, were Blaise and Daphne. Of course, the main reason they were still his friends was because no one in either of their families was a Death Eater, which meant that they didn't have anyone influencing them to drop his friendship. Blaise had become his closest friend in the last year and a half, and Draco was glad he had convinced him to join him in his dream. 

Draco knew that he couldn't get a decent job when he got out of school. His family name had deteriorated so far, that even the news that his father had helped the Ministry, by providing them with the names of other Death Eaters, didn't help. Draco had thought of playing professional Quidditch, or perhaps becoming an Auror, but he sincerely doubted he would be given either option. There would always be those who would doubt his sincerity. Therefore, he turned to his greatest love, music. Music would help him be something; it would all depend however, on how well the band performed at their concerts. Draco had asked Dumbledore to let the group play at the Three Broomsticks on Hogsmeade weekends, depending of course, on how the band was received after their first concert, and maybe one extra weekend if Madame Rosmerta needed it. It hadn't taken much to convince her that live music would draw an even bigger crowd, though she was planning on coming to the Halloween concert to hear them before making her final decision. Dumbledore was a bit harder to convince than Madam Rosmerta; he made Draco promise to be careful, that the group would have to be back to the castle before dark, and that they would take an escort. Draco didn't really mind the last stipulation, mainly because since people now knew that his father had betrayed the Dark Lord, that he might be a target.

* * *

On the opposite side of the school, and many floors above, Harry was doing his homework alone. Ron was off with his girlfriend, Daphne, and Hermione was with Fred in the library. It was a typical weekend for Harry, now that his friends had paired off. Shrugging as he finished off his Potions essay, he headed up to his room to retrieve his father's cloak. He would go down and work on some new song ideas before band practice. It was just a few days before the Halloween concert, and he wanted to practice his song a bit more anyway. Harry found it rather amusing that Draco hadn't noticed the fact that the very personal song, Pawn, was something that only someone like Harry Potter could have written. Luckily, it seemed that Draco was too distracted to notice, and his cover was still safe. 

Just as Harry was about to throw the cloak over his head, he heard the hoot of an owl, and saw Arrow fly in the window. Harry smiled. _'Well, hopefully that's a good sign. He sent a response quickly; I just hope I don't have too much longer to wait to meet him.' _Unrolling the parchment, he began to read.

* * *

_Harry, _

_I understand what you mean; there have been many people in my life that I thought I knew, only to find out years later, that I didn't really know them at all. Take you for example. I, along with the majority of the Wizarding World, were brought up believing that your Muggle relatives adored you, and that you had everything you could ever want. That you lived like a King and that was why you broke so many rules at Hogwarts._

_After reading your letters, I realize now how untrue that statement is. Your parents, killed when you were a baby, your godfather was sent to Azkaban for a murder he didn't commit, and you were forced to live with people who thought you were unnatural, and a freak. Personally, I don't know how I would have survived that, myself. I think it's amazing how well you turned out, when you are the product of that kind of environment. _

_It is too bad that many people will never know the truth. Perhaps when you're older, you should have someone write a book about your life, you could finally set the record straight, and perhaps get some peace. Just don't let it be one of the Creevey brothers; I don't think they would do you justice. I find their fan club utterly ridiculous. When will they get a clue that you don't want one? _

_Anyway, I want to thank you for finally answering my questions. I know that it is hard to trust someone that you don't know, and I am glad to see that you have finally decided to extend that privilege to me. I think I have made you suffer enough, Harry. I want to meet you, on 7 November at Midnight in the Astronomy tower. Please say you will come, Harry. I have to tell you I how I feel in person. _

_Yours truly, _

_Caesius_

_P.S. Don't forget to take off the necklace for Dueling Class tomorrow. I don't think it would do to have an unfair advantage when you need to be practicing shield charms. By the way, below is a list of charms that are on the necklace. I have seen Ms. Granger trying to get a pass to the restricted section to research them. It might be helpful to know what she is looking for. _

_Repelus – Repels hexes_  
_Caudex – Blocks curses and jinxes, making them bounce back to their caster_  
_Gustos – A powerful shield charm that encases the user in a shield, protecting them from harm_  
_Defendere – Defends against Dark and unfriendly spells_

* * *

Harry beamed; Caesius was finally going to tell him who he was! Ecstatic, Harry quickly penned a reply before band practice, and sent it off. It wasn't very long, but Harry hoped that it conveyed the right amount of need and happiness. Putting away his writing materials, he put his cloak on, and wandered down the stairs towards his practice room. 

As Harry walked down the halls, the Knut that he carried in his pocket had begun vibrating again. The Knut was a part of a door alarm that went off when the ward around the band room was accessed, it first went off while he was writing his reply to Caesius. Pulling back into the shadows, he set the Knut on identify and noticed Draco had entered early. Pulling back to a secret passageway nearby, Harry quickly cast his spells to become Anton, before walking into the practice room.

Clearing his throat quietly, Harry moved further into the room, looking at Draco quietly. Draco startled slightly at the sound, looked up from where he had settled to write earlier.

"Hello, Anton," Draco whispered quietly.

"Hi, Draco, what's the matter? You look a little down," Harry said.

"Oh, not down. More like, I am nervous. This concert needs to go well, or we may not get anywhere as a band. Even if we don't go anywhere, I bet you could do it without us, Anton," Draco said in reply.

Harry chuckled softly. "Draco, I couldn't do much without a band. You're being too hard on yourself. Of course, I think you have always been that way, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised."

Draco sat quietly and pondered this for a few moments before replying. "You seem to know me a little too well, Anton."

Harry grinned. "Well, I have become pretty observant since really getting to know you, Draco. You like to project this, 'I'm in charge' kind of attitude, but most of the time it is just an act."

Draco sighed. "Yeah, I guess you are right. I was just thinking that this is my only shot if I actually want to do some sort of work for a living. Of course, I probably don't need to work, but who wants to sit around all the time, and not do anything? At least my father had the Board of Governors, and things like that to do."

Harry looked at Draco in confusion. "What about Quidditch?"

Draco shrugged. "Guess they don't want me. I applied to a couple of my favorite teams; they told me that they didn't have any openings."

Harry chuckled. "Maybe they didn't... it's not always a brush off. I heard last week that the Magpies needed a seeker, though they might have filled it by now."

Draco frowned. "Well, that was one of the teams I applied to, it doesn't surprise me that they didn't owl me. I would imagine that they needed someone now as opposed to later, but father has kind of sullied the family name with all his activities, so that doesn't help either."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I suppose not. However, I did hear that he gave the names of many Death Eaters before he died. That should have helped; right? I mean, he helped the Ministry quite a bit when he did that. Although, it happened when Fudge was still in office... so, I'm really not surprised that the extent of his help went unrecognized."

Draco chuckled. "Anton, my father wasn't doing that to help anyone but himself. Azkaban is horrible, even if most of the Dementors are gone..."

Harry understood this reasoning - probably more than most. His Godfather had mentioned several times, about how bad Azkaban was with the Dementors. "Yeah, I would imagine it was worse with all the Dementors there."

Draco nodded. "Father always said it was pretty bad. He really wouldn't talk about it much. I can't say I blame him though."

A moment later, Harry felt the Knut in his pocket vibrate once more, and Wayne and Blaise walked in. Halting their conversation, Harry and Draco moved to get their instruments, and they fell into their normal positions to begin band practice.

* * *

On 31 October, Professor Dumbledore dismissed all classes half way through the day. The Headmaster and the Professors knew that the students were too excited to learn, and it would do no good to hold them in their classes. Since they had extra time to get ready, the girls began running from dorm to dorm, borrowing items that would look the best. The professors had given them permission to wear regular clothes instead of their dress robes to the feast and concert tonight, and they were very excited by the prospect. 

The Hogwarts rumor mill, also known as Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, Parvati Patil, and Lavender Brown, had heard Draco Malfoy bragging about this bass player that they had found, but the mystery was, no one knew who they were. Some speculated that he was a student who had already graduated, and that he was a friend of one of the other members; some speculated that he might even be an adult, perhaps even one of the professors, but Draco squashed that particular rumor. The new guy was a complete mystery, and it seemed that Draco Malfoy loved every new rumor about his mysterious band mate. It was making his band more popular than he could have guessed.

By the time the feast began though, Draco was worried. Looking around, Draco was unable spot Anton anywhere, and they needed to be set up shortly. Dumbledore had just said his normal nonsense words, and the feast had begun. Draco piled a light dinner on his plate, and tried to look calm as he ate. He knew that playing with a full stomach was not a good idea, and that it would cause extreme indigestion.

Once Draco had finished, he looked around one more time and signaled to Blaise and Wayne that it was time to get ready. Glancing around again for Anton, Draco wondered if they were even going to get to perform. _'Did Anton freak out and get sick? Is he in the hospital wing? Where is he?' _Draco thought frantically.

"Not worried about me are you, Draco?" whispered a voice that seemed to be coming out of thin air. Draco turned around quickly, and was startled to find Anton already in the room. "I came in early, I was too nervous to eat."

"Oh, no… of course, I wasn't worried about you. You said you would be here, right?" Draco breathed a sigh of relief, as Harry smirked at him. Harry knew the truth; Draco was afraid that his mysterious band mate wasn't going to show up. _'It's nice to see him show some emotions. For a while there, I was worried he didn't have any,' _Harry thought.

Draco cleared his throat as he looked around at the scattered instruments. "Well, we might as well relax for a few moments. The feast is about half over, any last minute things we need to talk about? Are we still going with the same song order?" asked Draco.

"As far as I know, Draco, unless Anton changed his mind about Pawn," Blaise replied as he looked over toward Anton.

Harry sighed, looking over at the dark headed boy, and shrugged. "I know you guys like it and all, but I just have a bad feeling about playing it in front of the school. However, you wanted me to sing it, so I guess I will. Though, if you don't see me for a while, my friends have killed me," Anton said with a slight laugh.

"Anton, I doubt your friends would kill you for singing it. Have a little more faith in your friends," Wayne replied with a chuckle.

Harry shrugged and laughed. "Maybe they'll think that it's about Draco or something, and won't connect me to it. However, I've never been that lucky. Not like they even know I can sing or anything..."

Draco's right brow lifted in surprise. "You still haven't told them? You've had almost two months to tell them, Anton. Well, maybe they'll figure it out, and you won't have to tell them. However, you probably should have told them before the concert."

Harry shrugged again. "I guess I was going for the surprise angle, really. Surprise, I am a musician, I can sing, and play the bass guitar." Harry chuckled as he grinned at Draco.

Draco snorted. "Well, hopefully they'll think it's a good surprise to them. You should hear the rumors floating around about you; they are getting more ridiculous every day. The most popular seems to be your some graduate student who's doing us a favor. I have no idea where these rumors come from. I think the rumor mill is working over time since they have no clue who you are."

Harry laughed. "Yeah, my favorite is that I'm Snape. Really, I think I look _much_ better than Snape, and any band that had Snape in it would probably scare off the audience. He still makes students cry on a daily basis."

Harry's comment made the whole group laugh, and Wayne spoke up with a snicker. "Yeah, though he has been looking a bit better this term. I think he must be using a tooth whiting charm or something. Maybe that's why people think you're Snape. He's been trying to improve his appearance some; maybe he has his eye on someone. I even saw Professor Lupin glancing at him oddly the other day. Maybe they're dating or something?"

Harry blinked. "Are Snape and Professor Lupin even gay? I guess it is possible; it would make things interesting around here. It's not as if we have ever seen any of the professors with anyone. I wonder if any of them are even married."

Everyone shrugged. Harry doubted that most of the students at Hogwarts wondered if the professors had their own private lives. The only ones young enough to worry about were Professors Lupin and Snape, and even then, well it wasn't mentioned. Just as someone was about to comment on Harry's question however, there was a knock on the door, and Professor Dumbledore stuck his head in, his blue eyes twinkling brightly. "Gentleman, it's time."

The group grabbed their instruments and placed them on the platform, and a moment later, they appeared on stage in the Great Hall. Several minutes later, they heard their band's name announced, and the group walked out the door and calmly up the side stairs to the platform. The long table that normally held the teachers' dinners was now along the far wall, and the area made a nice stage. Draco said a few words to the crowd, introducing the members of the band before they began their first number.

By the time the band got to Harry's songs, Harry had forgotten all about his worries and his friends. The crowd loved their songs, his songs; the cheering after each song was getting louder as the excitement built into a feverish pitch. Soon the stage lights lowered, and a spotlight appeared on Harry, it was time for his two special songs. Harry sat on a stool and began to play his first song, One.

Affirmative may be justified  
Take from one give to another  
The goal is to be unified  
Take my hand, be my brother  
The payment silenced the masses  
Sanctified by oppression  
Unity took a backseat  
Sliding further into regression

One, Oh One, the only way is one  
One, Oh One, the only way is one  
I feel angry… I feel helpless  
Want to change the world  
I feel violent… I feel alone  
Don't try and change my mind, no

Society blinded by color  
Why hold down one to raise another  
Discrimination now on both sides  
Seeds of hate blossom further  
The world is heading for mutiny  
When all we want, is unity  
We may rise and fall, but in the end  
We meet our fate together

One, Oh One, the only way is one  
One, Oh One, the only way is one

I feel angry… I feel helpless  
Want to change the world  
I feel violent… I feel alone  
Don't try and change my mind... no.

I feel angry… I feel helpless  
Want to change the world  
I feel violent… I feel alone  
Don't try and change my mind no

Ohhhhhhh…  
Yeah…  
Ohhhhhhh…  
Yeah…  
I feel angry… I feel helpless  
Want to change the world yeah  
I feel violent… I feel alone  
Don't try and change my mind no

I feel angry… I feel helpless  
Want to change the world yeah  
I feel violent… I feel alone  
Don't try and change my mind

After a few moments, the clapping died down, and Harry began pouring his heart and soul into his very personal song, Pawn, his rich baritone voice carrying through the Hall as the band played along with him. The audience seemed captivated by both of the songs, and the Hall was so quiet that all the talking had died down to complete silence. No one knew who the young man that was on the stage was, but they somehow felt like they intimately knew him now. The song gave them all a glimpse into a tortured soul, and the crowd ate it up. When the last note of the song ended, the Hall was completely silent. No one moved, no one talked, and some had their mouths hanging open, while several had fainted. Harry looked up from his guitar, and smiled weakly, and suddenly the crowed erupted into loud cheers. The moment had passed, and the crowd had finally found their voices, there were many whispering about the mysterious singer again.

Harry looked over to Dumbledore, and instead of finding a mad or upset look on his face; he saw a look of sorrow and understanding. Harry had a feeling that the next time Dumbledore had something important to tell him, that he wouldn't have to beg for an answer. Dumbledore finally seemed to understand that Harry was suffering from the lack of information, which was the whole point of the song, really. The group played a few more songs, and their concert was over. When they were finally able to slip back into the back room again, they let out a sigh of relief. Their first public concert was a success, and they couldn't be happier.

As Draco grinned as he collapsed on a nearby chair. "Anton, I can't believe you stunned them into silence. Did you see how many girls fainted?"

Harry chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I looked up and thought they hated it... then bang! I _still_ can't believe that they liked it that much."

Draco smirked. "I can. It's a great song, Anton. It makes them swoon because you get so lost in it. They see the tortured soul, the moody artist who just wants to be understood. It's a good thing, trust me."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, you could say that. Well, should we mingle, or should we disappear and go back to our common rooms? I don't know if I'm in the mood to give autographs or anything. I feel sort of wiped out."

Draco shrugged. "We can go if you want to slip out. Go get some sleep; you deserve it. We will see you at the next practice, okay?"

Harry smiled. "Okay, see you then."

Harry waited for a few moments as Draco, Blaise, and Wayne walked out the door to the Great Hall. When the door had shut behind them, Harry walked over to a sconce mounted on the wall, and turned it slightly. Suddenly, a secret passage appeared and Harry stepped inside. It was great having the Marauder's Map. He would have never known that there was a secret teacher's passage to this room unless it had been on there. Moments later, he took off his disguise, and snuck back into the Great Hall as Harry Potter. Fortunately, most everyone was too wrapped up in the piped music to notice that he hadn't been there all along.

Just as he made it to where his friends were sitting, Hermione was looking at him oddly. "Oh, there you are, Harry. I know you hate dancing, but you could have come to the concert."

Harry chuckled and shrugged slightly. "I don't hate dancing 'Mione, I just have never learned to do it."

Hermione nodded. "You missed a great concert though, Harry. I hope we get to hear them again soon. I am surprised. Malfoy has a great voice, and that guy that no one seems to know, is really good too. Lavender and Parvati fainted after one of the songs he sang. It was a little embarrassing for them, since they fell into a vat of punch." Hermione snickered softly.

Harry snorted. "Really? Oh, I would like to have seen that, at least. Maybe it washed off some of their makeup."

Hermione gasped. "Harry! Really!"

Harry laughed. "Oh, come on, Hermione. I know you think the same thing..."

Hermione scowled. "Perhaps, but I don't say it out loud where they might be able to hear it."

Harry winked. "Oh, well. If they heard me, I guess I'll have to apologize. However, I doubt they did, since they seem to be surrounding Malfoy, chattering away."

Hermione looked over in Malfoy's direction, and noticed that Harry was right. "I suspect they are trying to find out what happened to the mysterious bassist. Their major rumor of the mystery guy being Professor Snape was shot down, since he was scowling at the stage for at least the last half of the concert. After one of the songs, Snape suddenly stood up and left the room. I think the guy called it Pawn."

Harry blinked. _'Snape left after he heard Pawn? Oh great… I bet he figured out who I was, and by morning, I will have my friends all over me, upset because I didn't tell them I was in Draco's band.'_

Harry shrugged, leaning forward to whisper in Hermione's ear. "Maybe he had a meeting to go to?"

Hermione cocked her head slightly to the left. "Hmm, it _is_ possible... though I didn't see him clutching his arm like he normally does."

Harry was doomed. "Okay, well... it was just a thought."

Hermione nodded. "Well, it's time to go back to our common room. You are coming, Harry?"

Harry smiled weakly. "Yeah, I'm right behind you."

While Harry and Hermione walked back to the common room, Ron was walking Daphne back to her own before joining them. The moment they got inside, Harry headed to the stairs, and went up to bed. He would worry about Snape in the morning.

* * *

The next morning, as luck would have it, was a double Potions class. As Harry, Hermione, and Ron made their way toward the classroom, Harry tried not to look nervous. The class went by much quieter than normal. Snape lectured mostly on the properties of certain ingredients that they had used in a potion in the previous class. As the class was about to end, Snape cleared his throat. "Mr. Potter. Please stay behind; I would like a word with you." 

Harry gulped. _'I should have known...'_ "Yes, Professor."

The class quickly emptied out, Hermione giving Harry a puzzled look since he had been taking notes, and paying attention in class. Sitting quietly at his desk, Harry waited for the fall out. What shocked Harry though, was the look on Snape's face; he didn't appear to be upset at all.

"Mr. Potter. I know that we have not gotten along in the past, and I know that fault lies mostly with me. I am not one to ask for forgiveness, nor offer apologies. Many of our past troubles have come about for many reasons, however, many things I did, was intended to help keep you out of trouble. However, that is not what we are here to discuss today. Professor Dumbledore has asked me to help you yet again, as if I did not already have enough to do. As someone who has been at the Dark Lord's side for longer than you have been alive, I know him better than most. As any good spy would have done, I have been studying the Dark Lord since he resurrected a body and came back to power."

"Professor Dumbledore has requested that I help you learn his weaknesses, and his strengths. The time is coming when he will no longer hold back his plans. In fact, the Dark Lord's plans are becoming wilder each day, and he is beginning to start killing anyone who does not follow, and carry out his plans to the letter, which is most of the time, impossible. The few that he does not kill, are ripped apart by cutting hexes, and are mangled almost beyond repair by the time they are taken from his presence. He is quickly loosing support, but the Death Eaters are afraid that he would go after their families..."

"Professor, is... is that what really happened to Malfoy's father?" Harry asked quietly. He already knew part of the answer, but he wanted to see if Draco was telling the truth.

Startled by the question, Snape gave a quick nod. "Yes, that was part of the reason. The Dark Lord was displeased with Lucius when his son refused to become a Death Eater, and because Lucius was telling the Ministry the locations of some of the Dark Lord's bankrolls and hideouts. The Dark Lord was loosing money with each bargaining chip that Lucius played. Lucius was trying to bargain his way out of Azkaban, and the other Death Eaters executed with him were just additional benefits. He said he had no use for followers that could not follow him. He is quite imbalanced, and thought they all had betrayed him. I doubt that is true, but it left his son alone. I will be training him as well, and I would like to do it at the same time, but I know you two aren't the best of friends..."

Harry smiled. "It's okay, Professor. I think we will get along well enough to train properly."

Professor Snape smirked. "Yes, I see you already get along quite well, Mr. Potter. That was an interesting song you sung last night."

Harry gulped. "Excuse me? I... I... don't sing, Professor..."

Snape's brow rose. "I am not stupid, Mr. Potter. However, I could be persuaded not to tell Mr. Malfoy who you are, for the answer to a question."

Harry glared slightly. "What kind of question?"

Describing Snape's face would be impossible; it morphed into what looked to be a half smile - half sneer. "Not a hard question, Mr. Potter. One I think you can answer quite easily."

Harry sighed. "What is it, Professor?"

Snape grinned. "It's a question with several parts, but it all has to do with your new found talents. I might even be able to tell you something you might not have known as well."

"Please get on with it, Sir..." Harry said unconvincingly.

"First, how many of the songs last night were written by you?" Snape asked.

"About four of them, and if one of your other questions is wither or not I wrote Pawn, the answer is yes," Harry replied.

"My, My, Mr. Potter. I had no idea that you had such talent. Though, it does kind of run in your family, so I shouldn't be too surprised," said Snape.

Harry blinked in confusion. "Runs in my family, what are you talking about, Professor? No one told me either of my parents had any musical talents..."

Snape chuckled, the sound startling Harry so that he almost fell out of his seat. _'Snape never laughed!'_ Harry thought worriedly.

"Well, I suppose neither Lupin nor Black told you then. I shouldn't be surprised. They've probably forgotten, or they didn't know at all. Anyway, I used to hide and listen to your mother when we were in school. She played the violin, with about as much passion as you play your guitar. I don't even know if Potter or the rest of them knew about it. However, my downfall was listening to her. Black saw me coming out of the same room he saw Lily enter, and I guess he thought something was going on between us, you see, she was already dating Potter then. That was shortly before Lupin almost killed me."

Harry looked stunned. "S-so, you were nearly _killed_ because of a misunderstanding involving my mum?" Harry asked in disbelief. "I...I'm sorry, Professor."

Snape scoffed. "I never blamed your mother for that. My re-payment was that she stopped talking to Black, and even your father for a while. Dumbledore wouldn't expel Black. Like your father, Black was one of Dumbledore's Golden Boys; he couldn't just expel them. Then, I was sworn to secrecy until after school was over."

Harry laughed softly, but then frowned. "I bet he was mad. Although, why would she stop talking to my father? He saved you, didn't he?"

Snape nodded. "She thought it was a joint plot to get me killed or bitten. Werewolves are quite vicious when they don't take the potion, as you well know. Back then, Wolfsbane was not available. It was after we all were out of school; that it came into existence. However, Lupin didn't take it until he came here to teach. I think the main reason she was so angry, is that Black could have gotten Lupin killed if he had bitten me or worse killed me."

Harry nodded. "Professor, can I ask why you revealed that Professor Lupin was a werewolf? I know you set the essay before the night at the Shrieking Shack, but Hermione is really smart, she was able to figure it out where not many did. I can only guess, but I would say that was to get back at him for attacking you when you were in school. Yet, I wonder if that's the only reason. I mean; was part of your reason because he forgot to drink his potion."

Snape scowled. "Not that it is any of your business Potter, but it wasn't just me. However, it was partly because of the potion incident. Lupin was careless, and put many lives in danger that night, and if you recall, it almost ended your life as well."

Harry frowned. "It's not like he tried to do it on purpose, Professor. He was trying to save me from Pettigrew."

Snape sneered. "I know that now, Potter. However, it didn't take long for word to spread about his condition. He returned to school all bloody since he'd gotten into a fight with Black. Normally, during that time of the month, Lupin locked himself away at Grimmauld Place, no threat to anyone. However, when he went after you, he forgot the most important thing. No matter how normal he is the rest of the month, on that night, he's a monster. He would have killed you, or anyone else, without a moment's hesitation. Lupin could have killed our only chance to win this war; it was a risk that we couldn't take.

"When the staff announcements came in this year, and no one else would take the Defense job, I couldn't believe that the board allowed Dumbledore to call him back. Of course, this time he has an assistant to take over the three days surrounding the time of his change. The Board decided not to take chances with the safety of its students. Despite the fact that they were upset because Dumbledore didn't see fit to tell them of Lupin's condition the first time around, they agreed that he was the only possible candidate, given that they didn't want to give up one of their Aurors to take the post."

Harry nodded and sighed. "I just hated it because I learned so much from him. The rest of our professors have been a joke, really. Quirrell always acted like he was afraid of everything, then we found out he had Voldemort literally _in_ his head. Then, Lockhart was a ponce who couldn't cast spells correctly to save his life. Did you know that all his books are phony? He used memory charms on the people who actually did all those things."

Snape snorted. "I always knew he wasn't that good at everything. I tried to tell Albus it was a mistake to hire him, but as usual, my words of wisdom were ignored."

Harry smirked. "Crouch _did_ at least teach me how to resist the Unforgivables. I hope that little bit of information is still a secret. Anyway, then of course, we have Umbridge, who was so full of herself that she thought that there was no possible reason we might need to defend ourselves. 'Theory only, no practical,' she said. How were any of us going to pass our O.W.L.s with only theory in DA? So, we got together and taught ourselves; and I'd say our group faired better than the rest of the fifth years."

Snape sneered. "Yes, I am quite well aware of your so called 'secret' group. It wasn't a secret, but then, the other professors were asked to try and turn a blind eye to its activities."

Harry blinked. "Well, I guess that shouldn't surprise me. Dumbledore normally knows what is going on; the portraits tell him everything. I learned that a long time ago."

Snape agreed. "Well, when Dumbledore told me about it, I already knew." At the startled look he received from Harry, he went on to explain. "I heard Weasley talking about it a bit too loudly when the group started. I didn't know where it was meeting until after Dumbledore said anything though, and he gave me the job of keeping Filch away from that end of the castle."

Harry nodded. "Anyway, what was your other question?"

Snape seem to ponder this for a moment before responding. "How did you persuade Mr. Malfoy into letting you into the band without letting him know who you are?"

Harry smirked. "Well, I just let my Slytherin side show. I told him he had no other options if he wanted to start a band now, instead of after school."

Snape's mask of indifference fell briefly, before it slid back into place. "Slytherin side?"

Harry smiled. "Well, don't spread it around, but the Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin."

Snape looked startled. "Hmm, that would have been interesting; there would have been no Golden Trio."

Harry's eyes glittered with mischief. "Really, Professor? I bet it just would have had different members."

Snape feigned shock. "Yes, I imagine so. You seem to inspire such feelings, much as your father once did. He always had the loyal friends. Well, except the one, of course."

Harry nodded, looking sad for a moment. "Yeah, except him. As for my father, I wouldn't know. As I have told you numerous times, I am my own person."

Snape sneered. "Yes, I suppose you are, Mr. Potter."

* * *

The next day, the band got together to discuss the concert and their next gig. Draco had talked to Madam Rosmerta after the concert, and she had graciously decided to allow them to play on Hogsmeade weekends as long as they kept up their studies. 

"So, she loved us, huh?" Harry asked.

Draco nodded. "Of course she did. She loved you especially, said you reminded her of someone she used to know growing up." Draco raised an eyebrow and then grinned. "Anyway, it seems everyone that I have talked to loved your song. I notice you are alive; did your friends not figure it out? Or did they not react as bad as you thought they would?"

Harry chuckled softly. "Well, if they haven't figured it out yet, they will soon. Once the lyrics sink in, it won't take long for them to figure it out."

Draco smirked. "Well, it probably would be better to just tell them now, and get it over with."

Harry nodded and sighed softly. "I know. I just like the feeling of having no one know who I am."

Draco looked down at the floor with the same sort of sad look on his face. "I know how you feel. People either fear me because of my name, or hate me for my past behavior. Sometimes both."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I can understand that, too. Having people hate you or like you for things you have no control over isn't fun."

Draco smiled slightly. '_Well, isn't that a heck of a thing to bond over,'_ Draco thought.

* * *

That night after the band practice, Hermione and Ron cornered Harry in the common room. Harry sighed softly. "If you want to talk to me, it can't be here, let's go somewhere else." 

Hermione nodded. "Well then, we can go to the Room of Requirement."

The three agreed, and turned to walk out the door. As they approached the Room of Requirement, Harry paced back and forth three times, thinking of a comfortable place to have a long conversation. Once inside, he had Hermione cast the Imperturbable Charm and a locking spell on the door before he sat down and looked at his two best friends.

"Well, what is this about? I have a pretty good idea, but you will have to tell me what's wrong first," Harry said.

Hermione looked over at Ron, then back at Harry. "We know you're in Draco's band, Harry. It took me a few days to figure it out, but I am pretty sure that you are this mysterious Anton guy."

Harry sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I'm Anton. Though you can't tell anyone, _please_, you have to promise me!"

"But Harry," Hermione sputtered.

"Hermione, I'm finally having fun! I am finally doing something that I love. I...I... don't know what I would do if it was taken away from me. Malfoy is actually quite funny once you get to know him. He's been nice to me the whole time. I know that doesn't really make him a good person, but I just can't see what it hurts being in a band. No one knows but you, Dumbledore, and Snape. Oh, and get this, my mom used to be a great violin player! Snape told me so... I was shocked. He finally told me what caused his attack by Professor Lupin. He was listening to my mum play the violin one day, and Sirius caught him sneaking out. He thought something was going on between them, and decided to teach him a lesson! I still can't believe that he did that, but I guess he thought he was protecting mum." Harry spoke excitedly, barely taking a breath between sentences.

Hermione looked at Ron and sighed softly. "Harry, I understand you are having fun, but you know Malfoy will try to find out who you are sooner or later. Once he does, you won't be in it anyway, though if he were smart, he wouldn't kick you out. You have a lot of talent that should be expressed, Harry. I just wish it hadn't taken so long for you to tell us that you even sang or played an instrument."

Harry hung his head. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I just wanted something for myself for a change. Something that was just mine... something that I could just be myself, and not have to put on some show. Everyone expects me to be the perfect little 'Golden Boy'... but I'm not. If Malfoy finds out, then he finds out. I won't quit, not now after everything is going so well for the rest of the band."

Ron blinked at his best mate, and finally spoke up. "Harry, you're right. Since I started dating Daphne, Malfoy's been nice to me. It seems that they're best friends, and she pretty much let me know that if I wanted to go out with her, I would have to be tolerant of him. He's actually been okay the little time I have spent around him. Daphne says that he has changed a lot since his dad died. I guess what I am trying to say is... just be careful. Even if he is nice now, he still has the Death Eaters after him, trying to kill him. Daphne told me he refused the Dark Mark over the summer."

Harry nodded. "I know. He told me... he mentioned it one night at band practice. We talk about current events sometimes, especially when we are too tired to practice. We started writing a song together last week. It's going to be good, I think. We're supposed to play at The Three Broomsticks next Hogsmeade weekend."

Hermione and Ron smiled. "Well, we'll have to make sure we're there to cheer on Anton then," Hermione said. Through an unspoken agreement, the three stood, Hermione lowering the charms on the room, and the three went back to their common room to go to bed.

* * *

The days passed too slowly for Harry, but soon, it was almost time to meet his mysterious pen pal. It had been a struggle recently between thinking of his band and his pen pal. The letters, though frequent, were about down to a three a week frequency now. However, he had learned a lot about his pen pal over the last several weeks. What bugged Harry was that he felt like he knew him. All though he didn't come out and say it exactly, Caesius seemed, with each day, more familiar to him. He just couldn't quite put a finger on what was. 

When Thursday night came, Harry was extremely nervous. Tomorrow night was the night he would meet Caesius; the night that Harry would finally meet the boy that he had slowly been falling for over the summer. The classes that day seemed to drag on, and Harry wondered when they would end. However, for the first time in years, he actually enjoyed Potions class. Professor Snape paired Harry up with Draco, who actually was being nice to him that day. It was the perfect end to the week, now if he could just not be so nervous tomorrow night.

* * *

Friday hit, bright and sunny, and Harry sat in the common room pondering who his pen pal could be. Harry had pretty much ruled out anyone in his own house. In fact, after the comments about Draco, Harry could narrow the writer of the letters to one house, Slytherin. Of course, quite a few people in that house had hurt him over the years, though he wondered if this wasn't some sort of trick to get information out of him. _'No… I don't think anyone is that devious…it would have been in the Daily Prophet by now, if it had. The letters are nice and friendly… though, whoever it is, they seemed to know quite a bit about Draco Malfoy. Could Draco be writing me? He seemed to be really nice to me this year...' _Harry shook his head. _'No, no matter what, I seriously doubt that what Caesius had said was true. Sure Draco didn't bother us half as much last year, but that didn't mean he had become… nice. Of course, who said that behind that "mask" he wears isn't a nice person. It could be possible couldn't it?' _Harry shrugged. _'Stranger things have happened in my life…' _

* * *

That night, Harry got out his invisibility cloak and went to meet Caesius. The last time he had felt this nervous was in his fifth year when he was fighting Voldemort. _'It's just a boy! You can handle this, Harry; don't get your knickers in a knot,'_ Harry scolded himself as he climbed the steps. Harry was going to bring his map to the meeting, but he figured that it might not be such a good idea to have it with him again. Checking the map outside the dorm and tower quickly before he actually left, he noticed that Filch was in his office down near the dungeons, so he was safe for a while. As he opened the door to the tower and stepped inside, he looked around. Harry was normally late everywhere he went the majority of the time, but surprisingly, he was a few minutes early. He sat down in one of the chairs and sighed softly as he pulled his cloak into his lap. 

Caesius was hiding in the shadows of the room when he saw Harry come in. Luckily, he was behind Harry, so he was able to sneak up behind him and slip his fingers over his eyes for a moment before Harry tried to jerk out of his grasp.

"Shhh… it's just me handsome," Caesius purred in his ear.

* * *

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone! How did you like it? Don't forget to feed the author and muse! Review today! Please:)

* * *

**Songs:**

1. One by Creed


	4. Mystery Uncovered and Shocks

**Bane of my Existence **

**By Dream Howler

* * *

**

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* * *

**Notes: **This story is Pre-HBP, which takes place in **my version** of Harry Potter's seventh year, based on the events of the **first five books**. 

**Have a question, or want to provide private feedback?** Click on my profile and mail me. I also have a writing journal, and a mailing list to update people on my writing.

This plot/story is ©2004 - 2006 by Dream Howler. This story is the sole property of its author, and may not be copied, in whole or in part, or posted on any other website without the written permission of the author. As for the characters that are in this story, they are the property of J.K. Rowling. I am not receiving money for writing this story, and have no money for any lawyers to take should they decide to sue me.

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**_Chapter 3 Recap:_**

In Chapter 3, the band's first concert goes off without a hitch. However, Professor Snape seems to have caught on to who Anton really is. In an uncharacteristic move, Snape has promised not to reveal Harry's secret identity. Harry finds out that his mother once played the violin, and was good at it. Although, the down side to that piece of information was that it was what almost got Snape killed.

Meanwhile, Harry's pen pal has decided to tell him who he is. We last left Harry in the Astronomy tower with his mysterious letter writer.

* * *

**_Chapter 4 - Mystery Uncovered and Shocks_**

Harry shivered as the low husky voice purred into his ear. The voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it.

"I want to apologize before you see me, so I am going to slip this little blindfold over your eyes. I promise no one will hurt you," he whispered.

"Okay, but no tricks… although if you were planning on turning me over to Voldemort, I doubt you would be this nice to me," Harry whispered back.

"Harry, Harry, Harry. I told you I didn't believe all that pure-blood shite anymore, and I have you to thank for it." Caesius slipped the blindfold over Harry's eyes and settled at Harry's feet. "Now I will tell you why you changed me, Harry. You see, you put my father in Azkaban, and even if I never thanked you before now… here it is. Thank you, Harry, for taking my father away from me; you will never know what you did for me when you did that. In fact, I am sure you have heard by now that he is dead, but I will get to that in a moment."

Harry sat there stunned. '_This can't be who I think it is can it? No! It can't be him,' _Harry thought. '_He wouldn't have wanted his father in Azkaban! He told me that he would make me pay for doing it!' _

"I bet by now you have figured out who I am. I don't think I was discreet in my letters. My only intent was that you got to know the real me, for you to learn who I really am. Still, I am sure you have wondered why I so often flirted with you in them," he whispered.

"Dra... Malfoy? Is that you? Is this some kind of joke?" Harry said quietly, his face screwed up in confusion.

Draco smiled."Yes Harry, surprise, it's me…" Draco reached up and took off the blindfold. "It's no joke though, Harry. I meant what I said in my letters. You have given me my life back; one I would have never had if you hadn't taken away Lucius from me. His grand plan was for me to take the Mark before my birthday and before seventh year started. He was going to force me to take the Dark Mark, Harry. That means that you practically saved my life. I didn't want to be your enemy, forced to fight you and try to kill you, when all I want is for you to be happy. You gave me a life, Harry, and that is why I wrote you those letters. You deserved to know the extent of my gratefulness."

Harry looked down and noticed that it was indeed Draco, who was, oddly enough, sitting on the floor at his feet. Stunned didn't begin to cover the emotions he was feeling as he looked into Draco's silver blue eyes. Draco smiled up at him and something glittered in their depths. The truth -Draco was telling the truth.

Harry didn't know what to think or feel. Mixed emotions swirled through his head, overwhelming him. He couldn't handle the pressure, and grabbing his Invisibility Cloak he ran from the room in a daze, leaving behind a very stunned Draco.

* * *

The next day, Harry pulled Hermione into an abandoned classroom, threw up a Silencing Charm, and informed her of what had happened the night before. Hermione shared in Harry's confusion, but once she thought about it, all the clues in the letters made sense. When Harry told Hermione that he was sure that Draco was telling the truth, Hermione was speechless for the first time in her life. 

"I don't know what to do, Hermione. I care about the new Draco, but what will he do if he ever figures out I am Anton? I just know he will freak out. He is always telling me that he will find out eventually, but I don't know... I just don't know what to do," Harry admitted.

Hermione studied Harry for several seconds before replying. "Harry, I am sure that you don't want to cause him pain. It took guts to come out to you, and you ran away from him. If he's really serious, then he is probably pretty hurt right now. However, you might want to quit the band if you are afraid of hurting Malfoy further."

At that moment, Hermione realized that she had given Harry the wrong advice as Harry's face screwed up angrily. She knew it was useless to argue with him now.

"It will be slightly painful, but I want to be there for Draco, even if it is in a disguise," Harry stated.

Although Hermione didn't really approve, she was well aware by now that when he decided something, there was hardly ever a way to make him change his mind. It was better to let Harry make his own mistakes, and butt out of it. In the end, the less she was involved with the whole mess, the better.

Hermione sighed."All right, Harry, I will support you."

Harry smiled."Thanks, Hermione."

* * *

After a week of not receiving letters, Harry was sure that Draco had given up on him. He hadn't gotten any letters since the night in the Astronomy tower, and Harry missed them a lot. Draco really did have a wicked sense of humour when he was in a good mood. His impression of his favourite teacher, Professor Snape, was hilarious. It was later that Harry learned that Professor Snape had become a kind of surrogate father to him, since his father's betrayal and death. 

There were times when he saw Draco looking especially sad when he walked around by himself. '_Maybe he did really like me. Perhaps I should just make a fool of myself and write him. At least he wouldn't look so sad...' _Harry thought.

However, the next day, Draco seemed to be fine again. To say that the Slytherin was confusing was the understatement of the century. Of course, when Harry thought rationally, Draco didn't know that Anton was Harry so he, of course, wouldn't be giving him sad looks.

* * *

The days passed, and Draco tried not to think about Harry, but found it virtually impossible. The next day after the Astronomy tower incident, Draco sent a letter to him apologizing again for everything, and swore that he wouldn't use anything he said against him. Draco hoped that Harry would respond, but it had been over a week now, and Draco's heart slowly started to break. Harry had rejected him again, and try as he might, he couldn't blame him this time. 

Draco, in the absence of Harry's letters, had decided to throw himself into the band completely, concentrating on writing songs to go along with the ones that Anton had written. However, since Draco was sad, the songs were what most would term as sad love songs, though Draco wouldn't admit whom they were about. As the days passed, Draco started looking at Anton in a new light. It was disturbing that he seemed to be getting over Harry this soon, and was slowly falling for a guy whose true identity remained a mystery. Anton was everything that he liked in a guy; he was funny, intelligent, nice looking, and didn't care about Draco's past. The only problem was that Draco wished Anton would stop the act and come clean on his identity.

Of course, his thinking did inevitably return to Harry and he sighed, remembering what drove him to write Harry in the first place. During his 6th year, Draco had stopped being so nasty to everyone, stopped using racial slurs, and had just existed. Watching. The Slytherins thought he was mainly in shock from his father's death, but he wasn't. During the summer after his 5th year, after he told Harry that he would pay for putting his father in Azkaban, he learned the real and horrible truth about his father. Lucius Malfoy was evil. So evil in fact, that he had his wife under the Imperious Curse the majority of the time, and had since Draco had turned eleven. The few times she had been able to fight it, she would send her son sweets from home. Once she started acting different, the House-Elves informed Lucius, and he would renew the spell.

When Draco arrived to the station to go home that summer, his mother hugged him for the first time since he was a small child. It made Draco understandably confused, and his mother told him that they would discuss it when they got home. After the pair arrived home, they had a long talk about what his father had made her do over the years for the "cause". Much of which turned Draco's stomach violently.

After two months of telling her son about the evil things that Lord Voldemort made her husband do for his cause and to their family, Draco made a shattering decision. He would die before he allowed Voldemort to win the war. This, of course, meant that he had no choice but to join the side of Harry Potter, his long time rival. Draco knew that he didn't have the survival skills and bravery needed to play a spy for Voldemort, so he needed to find some other way to help.

When Draco returned to school that year, he spent most of the year watching Harry. He was startled to realize that Harry was quite good looking, and that he wanted to get to know him better. Over time, Draco realized that he had severely misjudged the young Gryffindor. He noticed this most during his fifth and the beginning of his sixth year; Harry had pretty much withdrawn from his housemates and disappeared often. Draco had even tried to follow him several times, but Harry always seemed to duck down a secret passage and totally disappear before Draco could find out which way he had gone.

This, of course, frustrated Draco to no end. However, he had no idea where Harry was going, and even the best spies in Slytherin couldn't seem to track him. Eventually, Draco came up with the idea of apologizing in a letter, and that was where all of this began that summer. It had been great when Harry had confided in him and had treated him like a friend. He still had a small glimmer of hope that perhaps one day, Harry would come to realize that Draco wouldn't harm him or his friends anymore, and perhaps consent to dating him.

* * *

The weeks passed rather quickly, and the band itself had several more concerts in Hogsmeade. They even had a surprise sprung on them by Madam Rosmerta, when she arranged for one of the Weird Sisters to be in the Three Broomsticks one day. Of course, she wouldn't admit it was her doing, but the band knew better. Word had spread about their little band, and it was already making the Three Broomsticks more money than it had seen in a long time. Madame Rosmerta was extremely happy, and even paid the band a nice stipend as compensation for all their hard work. The band eventually needed a manager and the arguments over who would be suitable lasted more than a week. 

"I still say that Pansy would do okay; I mean she is a Slytherin after all," said Blaise.

"True, but would she be greedy enough to run away with said money?" asked Draco.

"Well, I don't know. It's entirely possible that won't happen," replied Wayne.

"What about Granger? She's smart and would be too loyal to steal any money," Draco stated.

Harry looked at Draco stunned, however, he quickly hid his expression. '_Did Draco just suggest we use the girl he's hated for seven years to be our manager? I mean, _she_ might do it, _since_ she knows that I am Anton, but I don't know.' _Harry cleared his throat, "Ummm, well, I think she would do a good job, but why would she do us any favours? I mean, I doubt you would be able to get her to do anything for you until you apologize to her for the last seven years."

Draco looked at Anton and blinked. "Actually, I was planning on doing so; however, it is so hard to get her to pull her nose out of a book long enough. Of course, that is probably how she is always beating me in grades. I have never seen anyone study as much as Granger, and that includes the Ravenclaws."

Everyone had a good laugh over Draco's statement, including Harry. Harry knew first hand how much Hermione studied, including her coloured homework charts and study charts. Harry decided the best way to approach Hermione was to talk to her himself first. Perhaps she would do it if Harry told her what Draco said. Of course, that also depended on whether or not Draco apologized.

* * *

The next morning after breakfast, Harry pulled Hermione aside and asked her if she would meet him before lunch break. Harry and Ron went to their classes, still feeling slightly guilty that they dropped Care of Magical Creatures to concentrate on other subjects. It was just as well, since Ron's brother was now teaching the subject. It was much easier to be fair when relatives were not in your class. 

When lunch arrived, Hermione and Harry traipsed up several flights of stairs to once again use the Room of Requirement. After pacing back and forth three times, the door opened and the pair went inside. After they sat down, Harry began telling Hermione all that had went on the day before. After Harry had finished, Hermione sat quietly, thinking.

"Well, I would expect a full apology before I even consider it, Harry. Nevertheless, if he has been trying to apologize all year, then the next time I see him, I will see if I can talk to him," said Hermione.

Harry smiled."Thanks, Hermione. I knew that you would be sensible about this. I was actually shocked he said such nice things about you. Of course, he has told me many times that all the stuff he said before his father's capture was mainly due to his father. If you recall, I still have problems not thinking I am a freak due to my relatives' treatment."

Hermione nodded."Well, Ron has given him a second chance, and you know how bitter rivals that they were. Of course, I think that is mainly because he is in love. Although, speaking of love, Fred and I are taking a bit of a break. It's just too hard right now; he's so busy with his shop and trying to make a living. It's getting harder and harder to see him. Perhaps after we get out of school, it will get better."

Harry frowned and nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, I noticed he wasn't around as much lately. I just figured he was working, not that you two had called it quits. I don't know what to do about my love life, personally. I really want to tell Draco that I am Anton, but it's so nice that he has no expectations of me except writing and playing music. He doesn't expect me to be a hero, or a leader, just myself."

Hermione hummed softly. "Harry, how about this. Although I am against lying, why don't I feel Draco out for you? I'll ask him if he still likes you and wants to go out with you. I mean you haven't seen anything in the _Daily Prophet_ yet, so he obviously wasn't doing it to humiliate you. If I find out that he still likes you, will you consider at least approaching him as Harry? You wouldn't have to tell him about Anton just yet."

Harry sighed and nodded. "That sounds like an okay idea, Hermione. Maybe it will work. I really do miss our letters; sometimes, I wish he hadn't told me."

Hermione placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, deciding a change of subject would be a good idea."Come on, Harry, let's go get some lunch."

Harry nodded and followed Hermione to the Great Hall for Lunch, still contemplating their conversation. _'Is it possible that Draco still likes me, _even_ though I rejected him again? I guess I will have to wait and find out.'

* * *

_

The next day, Draco approached Hermione about the band's opening. Hermione, at the beginning, was going to play slightly hard to get, but once she saw the remorse on Draco's face, she graciously accepted his apology on the condition that he answer a personal question. While Draco didn't really want to answer personal questions, he had a good idea who the question was about. His thoughts were confirmed several minutes later.

"I know that you wrote Harry all summer, and a good portion of the school term, Malfoy. What did you hope to accomplish, really?" asked Hermione.

Draco frowned as he replied. "Accomplish? I told him what I hoped to accomplish, Granger. I wanted to get to know him, without him telling me to go to hell. Tell me something, Granger. Would you have written me back if I had written you a letter and signed it, Draco Malfoy?"

Hermione blushed slightly. "I guess not. I probably would think just like Harry did when he got your letters, that it was some sort of trick."

Draco sighed softly, a frown gracing his aristocratic features. "I told him it was no trick either, though it seems that he didn't believe me. It was nice getting to know him; I finally felt happy for the first time in my life."

Hermione nodded."Well, I know that Harry enjoyed getting your letters. He even told me that he missed them just yesterday."

Draco scowled."Don't play with me Granger. He can't have missed them too much or he would have written me before now. I haven't heard from him since the day after I revealed myself. I wrote him a letter and he never returned it."

Hermione looked puzzled. "What letter? Harry said he hasn't gotten any letters from you since the Astronomy Tower incident."

Draco blinked."He didn't get a letter from me the day after the Astronomy tower?"

Hermione shook her head. "No, he hasn't, not unless he forgot to tell me about it. Which owl did you use? Why didn't you use your own?"

Draco hmmmed, "I don't know. I didn't use Arrow; he was out when I had time to mail it. The only one that came down to me seemed pretty old and looked half-dead actually. I think I have seen him delivering things to the Weasleys once or twice. He looked so eager to help me for some reason."

Hermione gasped softly, and then looked sad. "Errol died; there is no telling where your letter went. You're right, he was very old. On his last legs really, he probably passed on before he was able to deliver it. From what Hagrid said, it looked like he jumped out the window and found he couldn't fly. He crashed to the ground and broke his neck. If he was carrying a letter, it's probably somewhere in the forest, torn up by now by some animal and used for a nest. What did it say?"

Draco sighed softly."It said that I was sorry, and that I would never tell anyone what he wrote to me about. I apologized for being scared to tell him who I was again. I've been waiting for him to write me back for a while now. I thought…"

Hermione nodded cutting him off. "I understand, Draco; it seems silly that you both have been sad for the same reason. I'll talk to Harry; you didn't by chance keep a copy of your letter did you?"

Draco blinked several times, and glared slightly at her. "Yes, I kept a copy... however, it's personal."

Hermione laughed softly. "I won't read it, Malfoy; I just want to give it to Harry. I think it will help him to believe that you actually still like him."

Draco stood quietly pondering that statement. _'Do I still like Harry that way? Yes, I think I do, but what about Anton? Oh, who cares. Who knows if Anton will ever even tell me who he is? Wouldn't it be better to be with someone that I know, than someone who wants to keep secrets? I mean, I understand why he wants to keep the secret... however, why can't he just tell me? What is he afraid of? Maybe he doesn't look as good under that charm. What if he thinks that I wouldn't like him the way he really is? Wouldn't it be better if I just tried it with Harry, _than_ deal with someone that may or may not actually like me that way? I mean, Anton has never said that he liked me more than a band mate and friend. I know he said he was gay, but he could like brunettes or something, _right_? I might not even be his type. Oh, who am I kidding, Anton might be interesting, but I have liked Harry for a long time. Maybe Anton just reminded me of Harry, and that was why I was developing feelings for him.'_

As Draco stood pondering Hermione's previous statement, she stood in front of him becoming agitated. Hermione had been trying to get his attention for the last five minutes. Finally, she grabbed his arm, and waved a hand in front of his face. "Malfoy, are you there? You look a million miles away."

Draco, startled out of his thoughts, blinked at Hermione as she released him. "Oh, sorry, Granger, I was just thinking about something. I'll copy the letter tonight before dinner and give it to you later."

Hermione nodded. "All right. I'll see you tonight, then."

"All right, see you later, Granger," Draco replied.

As Draco started to walk away, Hermione called out to him. "Oh, by the way, Malfoy... I'll help you with your band; send me the details when you get a chance."

Draco smiled."Great, I am glad that we could come to an understanding and work together. I don't think that you will regret it, Granger."

Hermione nodded and smiled at him. "Hopefully not."

* * *

Later that evening, Draco slipped Hermione the letter, along with the band details, and she grinned widely. _'If things worked out for him, Harry might consent to a date during the next Hogsmeade weekend, _after_ my concert.'_ Draco reflected. 

As Hermione walked towards the Great Hall, she was glad that she had talked to Malfoy now; perhaps Harry would finally be happy if she could just convince Harry that Draco meant what he said.

After dinner was finished, Hermione pulled Harry aside and gave him two letters from Draco. Hermione wasn't sure what the contents were, but she hoped that it would ease Harry's heartache.

Harry looked down at the letters warily. Hermione had told Harry about the letters earlier in the evening, and he wasn't sure what to do now. He had never thought to even ask Draco if he had written him again. In the band room, Harry had a box that held rough drafts of letters that he never sent... now Harry felt guilty. Deciding to tough it out, Harry opened the newer letter first.

* * *

_Dear Harry,_

_I have enclosed the copy of the letter that I wrote the night after our meeting. I made myself another copy just to be on the safe side. I guess that you could call that night a disaster. I should have expected you to run out on me, but I had hoped that you wouldn't. I want to apologize again for not telling you who I was from the start, but as I asked Granger... If I had written you and signed my name to the bottom, would you have written back? As I predicted, she said no. So you now have the reason I didn't sign my name._

_I hope that once you read the other letter that you will consent to meet me the next Hogsmeade weekend after my concert. Perhaps it will coincide with your plans._

_I miss you, Harry._

_Draco

* * *

_

_'He missed me.' _Harry sighed. _'I missed his letters, _too_; luckily I got to see him on a regular basis at band practice. I can't believe that Draco asked me on a date...' _Harry thought.

Unfolding the older piece of parchment, it was creased and worn, as if it had been read several times. Harry supposed that Draco had re-read what he had written several times to figure out why Harry had never written back.

* * *

_Dear Harry,_

_Yes, it's a mundane greeting. After last night, I figure that addressing you the way I normally do would be unwelcome. Harry, I know that last night didn't turn out quite the way we hoped it would. I had hoped that by the time that we met, that you would like me for who I was on the inside. I really do like you Harry, and it hurt when you ran away. However, I guess I deserve it in some ways. We haven't exactly been friends for the last seven years, and after you sent the letter about our first meetings, I think I finally understood why you turned down my friendship for Weasley's. _

_I guess I was so used to my name getting me somewhere. I don't think it even occurred to me that you didn't even know who the Malfoys were. In the end, I suppose it was a good thing that you did reject my friendship. If you were my friend the entire time, and Voldemort decided to force me to bring you to him, it probably would have killed me. _

_Please, _let's_ try this again, Harry. I promise that I will never use anything that you have ever written against you, or anything you write in the future. Can we please go back to at least writing each other until you feel comfortable meeting with me again in person? You don't know how much your trust and friendship has meant to me this year. I hope that we can still become friends, if nothing else. I would be upset if I lost contact with you completely._

_Draco

* * *

_

Harry sighed as he took out his writing materials. It was time to start his correspondence up again. Harry was afraid if he met Draco as himself often enough, he would cave in, and tell Draco all about Anton. Harry just wasn't ready to do that yet. When he had finished the letter, he rolled up the parchment, and called for Arrow. When the bird arrived, he took the letter in his beak, but not before nipping at Harry affectionately. It seemed that the bird missed Harry as much as his owner did. Draco had been using the Malfoy owl to send all the band correspondence, so it was no wonder why Harry never caught on that Draco had two owls at school.

* * *

Several minutes later, Draco was roused out of his homework to the portrait over the mantle opening and his owl landing on the chair next to him. Taking the parchment out of his beak, Draco blinked, noticing Harry's handwriting. _'Hopefully this is good news. I don't know if I could take any bad news.' Draco _thought

* * *

_Dear Draco,_

_It feels strange calling you that, as I am so used to calling you Caesius. I guess I am still in shock that you would want to ever have anything to do with me. I have seen you every day of every school year for seven years, and yet you still confuse me. This year has been full of contradictions and hurt feelings. I started to write you many times… so many times. However, I just couldn't send them. It hurt every time I would see you so sad, and I knew that I was the cause. There were so many times that I wished I could take away the pain, but I just can't right now. _

_You asked if we could write again in your letters, and I think that it would be best for now, _if_ we started that again. I don't know if it would be a good idea to meet out in the open right now; we both have people after us that definitely want us dead. Having us both in the same place probably wouldn't be a good idea at the moment. Professor Dumbledore is extremely worried about my safety, and has made me promise to stick near the castle, anyway._

_So, with that said, how is your life going? I haven't been updated on it in quite awhile, and would like to know what is going on with you. I know that your band is doing well; I was surprised when Hermione told me she would be helping you out with it. I am very happy that you have buried the hatchet with both of my friends. It makes anything that may happen between us a lot easier._

_Harry

* * *

_

Draco sat staring at the letter for several moments. Harry was right; they did both have people after them. It seemed in the midst of the band's success, he had forgotten that Professor Snape was always shadowing him and the band. It was easy to forget when the screaming crowds were begging for more.

_'I'll just have to begin writing him again, and perhaps I can convince him to meet me sometime soon.' _thought Draco.

* * *

The next night as Harry waited for a shower to be free; he stood pacing for several minutes trying to decide what to do about Draco and Anton. Draco had come to band practice so excited tonight. He was clearly happy that Harry was writing him again, that he wondered just how long he could keep the secret safe. Harry had to sneak the box of letters out of his case in the band room so that he could send them to Draco. He figured he would only send the complete ones; it would be silly to send half thought out letters that he had written in sorrow or anger. 

After his shower, Harry flopped tiredly onto his bed. Most of his roommates were already asleep, so they didn't have a chance to question the late hour that Harry made it back. Draco was frantic in the preparations for their next concert. Harry suddenly began to wonder if he was so frantic because he was still hoping that Harry would show up as himself at the concert, or if he had some sort of plans to get them signed. Before Harry knew it, his eyes drooped and he fell into a semi-restless sleep.

_The dream started out normal, not even giving a hint of things to come. Though, after several minutes had passed, the dream took a violent turn for the worse. Harry was running down the halls of Hogwarts, crying out Draco's name. It only took several seconds to realize that he wasn't Harry, but Anton, when he passed a mirror in the hallway. _

_Startled, Harry almost ran into a body on the floor in front of the Great Hall. It was the body of Draco Malfoy, who looked badly injured and in need of a healer. The young man seemed barely alive, and was whispering a name, Harry's name. Quickly cancelling the charm on himself, Harry knelt next to Draco who gasped in shock, stuttering Harry's name before he passed out. _

_It was several days before Draco awoke and Harry learned what had happened, but by that time, Draco wouldn't even talk to him anymore. Draco was upset that Harry hadn't trusted him once he came clean to tell him who he was, and effectively kicked Harry out of the band. It was later that Professor Dumbledore told Harry that Voldemort had some of his followers in the castle beat Draco up and left him for Harry to find. Voldemort had learned that Draco was in love with Harry, and left a message pinned to Draco's robes. "Next time, _I_ will have them kill him."_

Harry awoke from his dream in a cold sweat. Harry knew that it was just a horrible nightmare, but he was even more determined to keep his secret safe now. Draco couldn't know who he was, and if he wanted to keep Draco alive, he would have to learn how to protect all their correspondence. He wouldn't let Draco get hurt because of him. The next morning when he had a break between classes, he would go to the library to find some spells to protect their letters… and Draco.


	5. Author Note

Author Note: 

Bane of My Existence by DreamHowler was updated on September 30th 2007.

Please see Profile for links to the updates.

Thanks for viewing!


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